AH, Vienna.

Now there’s a great idea for a song title. Though, like the noted Mancunian poet, John Cooper Clarke, I’d probably only end up getting ripped off by the unscrupulous music biz if I bothered to flesh it out.

JCC likes to tell of how he once came up with the perfect song, only to see some unsavoury hack steal the title, tweak it just a tiny bit, present the thing as all his own work and then sit back with his feet up as the fruits of a massive a world-wide hit rolled right in. Clarke’s forgotten epic? “Wherever I Lay My Hat, That’s My Hat”.

But I digress, which I’m afraid is something of an occupational hazard as the roving hack reaches the final days of a month on the road and his brain begins to turn to mush.