Who’s the daddy?

HOW press conferences work: the gaffer comes in, sits down, tape-recorders are placed in front of him, the snappers take their shots and then there’s a moment’s awkward silence while everyone waits for someone to ask the first question.

And finally it comes, invariably a humdinger along the lines of: “How happy/ disappointed are you to have won 10-nil/lost to a debatable penalty in stoppage time?” And usually it’s all downhill from there.

Occasionally, the boss turns the table (or if he’s like Fergie on a bad day, maybe even turns over the table). In the run-up to a World Cup qualifier against Israel, Brian Kerr once surprised your correspondent by asking why I appeared to be studying the Bible. A glance down at my leather-bound notebook explained the confusion but, not wishing to let the manager of Ireland down, I told Brian that, obviously, I was doing research for our upcoming visit to the Holy Land.