Jewell jokes while Derby crash and burn

SIX MONTHS and 25 games without a Premier League win, Derby County have lost most things this season, but not it seems their sense of humour.

Relegation — with what is likely to be a record points low — could be sealed as early as Saturday if results go against them, but manager Paul Jewell can still raise a laugh even if his latest bout of gallows humour came before the publication in Britain yesterday of lurid stories relating to his private life. “As with any relegated side there have been a lot of ifs, buts and maybes,” Jewell reflected after this latest setback.

“But it’s like the old saying, if my aunt had been born with balls, she’d have been my uncle.”