Is there anybody out there?

HELLO? Hello. I said hello! I’m over here! Well, yes, even a top columnist like myself has to shout when Yer Man suddenly moves in next door.

I suspected the weekly column might be in a bit of trouble when the Commander In Chief got on the blower and said: “Keano’s been talking about Stan and the Irish job. It’s cracking stuff. We’ll be going big on this.”

“Righty-o,” I chirped back, “you’ll be wanting just a tad less than my usual 1,500 words of wisdom, then?”