Read it and weep
But it could. A demoralised Irish team now has two days left in which to try to pick itself up off the floor and defy all expectations by putting it up to the high-flying Czech Republic at Lansdowne Road on Wednesday.
“Northern Ireland did it,” said Steve Staunton in Nicosia on Saturday night, referring to the scarcely credible turnaround in the fortunes of the other boys in green when they followed a 3-0 defeat by Iceland with a 3-2 win over Spain.
It’s certainly a stirring reference point. But the comeback by the boy Lazarus may be a more realistic one.
On Saturday night, for the second time in just five games in Staunton’s reign, the record books were being consulted at the end of 90 minutes to determine precisely where a result featured in the Republic of Ireland’s Hall of Infamy. And while there have been heavier defeats in the past — the four-goal Dutch drubbing being the most recent — for Ireland to concede five goals against Cyprus in a European Championship qualifier must surely rank as an all-time nadir.
It’s a result which puts Steve Staunton under the kind of withering pressure which would have been deemed unthinkable when he took over the job at the start of the year — and almost immediately gave Irish supporters reasons to be cheerful with a bouncy 3-0 win over Sweden in what was a false dawn friendly if ever there was one. Since then, four straight defeats, culminating in Saturday’s GUBU show, have left him clinging to the wreckage.
One year ago, Brian Kerr just about escaped from Nicosia with his managerial career still intact. One game later, he was gone. It’s extraordinary to think that, after another, even more wounding visit to Cyprus, Kerr’s successor finds himself on the brink of the same precipice just two competitive games into his reign.
But while there wasn’t much talk about four-year plans on Saturday night, Staunton made it clear he was determined to get on with the job.
“I’m not walking away,” he said, insisting that he felt that the task of international management was “certainly not” beyond him. Once again, he returned to the theme of a side in “a transitional period” but almost in the next breath added: “But it’s nothing to do with that because we’d quite an experienced side out there. You look at the caps the players have. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. We worked hard all week; it was done in a professional manner, we covered everything and it didn’t happen on the night.”
Which has to beg the question: if Staunton did all that he could do, then what more can he possibly bring to the job? Having been one of the few who argued that Brian Kerr was probably given everything he needed by the FAI except the thing he needed most — time — I’m hardly going to join the chorus of those already calling for Staunton’s head on a plate.
But if Ireland get another almighty hiding against the Czechs in Dublin on Wednesday, the court of public opinion will hardly be so merciful.
And with so much riding on the move to Croke Park next year, even the FAI might start to get cold feet.
Even after a defeat as shockingly comprehensive and embarrassing as Saturday’s, Staunton is entitled to be given the chance to put things right, to show that he can learn on the job and, in a matter of just a few days, work a miracle of recovery even greater than the one which at least saw pride and hope restored in Stuttgart after the hammering administered in Dublin by the Dutch.
The problem is that, on Saturday, the Irish fell even further, hitting a humiliating rock bottom that left little reason to believe this manager has the wherewithal to drag them back up.
When Steve Staunton got the job, his lack of experience was recognised and accepted; the compensation, we were told, was that he would inspire his teams to play their hearts out for the shirt. That didn’t happen in Nicosia, where the Irish performance was characterised more by desperation than desire, and if it is to happen against the Czechs, Staunton will need almost superhuman powers of motivation to resurrect a shattered team.
Perhaps the single most dispiriting aspect of Saturday’s performance was Ireland’s almost total collapse in the second half, after Richard Dunne’s header had brought them level on the stroke of half-time. That reprieve ought to have boosted the visitors as much as it should have demoralised the home side, but instead football logic was turned on its head as Cyprus regained the initiative with a penalty shortly after the break. After that, there was really only one side in it. On the run of play and chances over the 90 minutes, man of the match Constantinou and company would not have been flattered if the winning margin had been two or three more.
While the manager is now in the firing line, the players have to take a huge responsibility for Saturday’s calamity. Individual errors abounded and, defensively, Ireland were simply atrocious. In Staunton’s own words, “It was if they never played with each other before,” although surely that is an indictment as damning of the preparation as it is of the play.
Andy O’Brien had a nightmare game, Paddy Kenny was at fault for the second goal and John O’Shea, back at left full, had yet another forgettable outing in the green shirt. In getting himself a red card, Richard Dunne did his already embattled boss no favours ahead of a Czech game in which yet another uncapped player will have to be given a baptism of fire.
Looking for signs of hope, it’s even hard to share the Irish management’s enthusiasm for Stephen Ireland. Both Kevin MacDonald and Staunton singled the young Manchester City midfielder out for praise but from where I was sitting, his display — which included a couple of wayward long balls into the arms of Morphis, the underworked Cypriot goalkeeper — was only marginally more effective than that of the largely anonymous and much more experienced Kevin Kilbane beside him in central midfield.
But after a game in which, not for the first time, Ireland’s most creative attacking play came on the flanks — from the tireless Damien Duff on one wing and, for a brief exciting spell, Aiden McGeady on the other — Staunton seemed to be still maintaining his no-go position on Lee Carsley although, when asked outright, he didn’t entirely rule out the possibility of a recall for the Everton midfielder.
“I’ve full faith in the younger players,” he said. “I mean, two of our better players were young Ireland and Aiden McGeady, so there are positive aspects. We’ve got a few more coming up. It’s a transitional period, you have to play them.
“We can only deal with what players we’ve got. We’ve got to go out there and try and get them as much football at this level as possible. I mean, 12 or 18 months ago you wouldn’t have been talking about young Ireland or McGeady playing — and they’ve handled themselves very well.
“We’re looking forward. The thing is, if you remember a lot of you didn’t have a lot of nice things to say about Lee when he last played for Ireland.”
To his credit, Staunton made no attempt to downplay the grim reality of Saturday night, describing it as “embarrassing” and, defensively, the worst Irish performance he’d ever seen. And he accepted the fans who’d paid good money and travelled a long way to witness it had been let down.
Wednesday will be a defining night in determining if he, and this alarmingly brittle Irish team, have any serious chance of winning back that trust. After Cyprus, never was the term post-mortem more applicable in football analysis. The fear is that unless Staunton and his players somehow raise themselves from the dead for the Czech game, we may already be engaged in the first ever pre-mortem.
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