Ireland's win over New Zealand was the 'epitome of bittersweet' for Béibhinn Parsons

The Ireland wing was at the IRFU High Performance Centre for another round of rehab when she found out that her team-mates had defeated the world champions on their WXV1 debut.

BITTERSWEET: Béibhinn Parsons at the launch of the new season of Tackle Your Feelings Schools Programme. Pic:©INPHO/Dan Sheridan

Béibhinn Parsons has admitted to feeling guilty at her mixed emotions when watching from afar as the Ireland Women’s team defeated New Zealand’s Black Ferns at last month’s WXV1 tournament while she was rehabbing a broken fibula.

The Ireland wing described being at the IRFU High Performance Centre for another round of rehab following the injury sustained on Ireland Sevens duty at the Paris Olympics this summer when she found that her XVs team-mates had defeated the world champions 29-27 on their WXV1 debut in Vancouver as “the epitome of bittersweet”.

The 23-year-old Connacht star from Ballinasloe is now relishing the opportunity to return to action ahead of next April’s Women’s Six Nations and to fight to reclaim her place in the Test side.

Talking at a Rugby Players Ireland Tackle Your Feelings media day this week, Parsons said: “Being at home and watching the girls perform so well was the epitome of bittersweet. It was fantastic seeing them beating the Black Ferns, but you just want to be there as well.

“It's given me a fire in my belly to get back quick and get back with a bang. I can't wait to put my hand up for that squad. Scott has done really well in building loads of depth and competition in key areas. It won't be a walk-in at all. I can't wait to have to fight for my position and get back on the squad.”

Tackle Your Feelings was launched by Rugby Players Ireland and Zurich in 2016 and is funded by the Z Zurich Foundation. Pic: ©INPHO/Dan Sheridan

Parsons added: “The bittersweet kicked in on the Monday morning. The girls played and with the time difference it was maybe 3am on a Monday morning. There's a hefty group of us in rehab right now with ACLs or a broken leg and different things like that, there's a good crew of us that would have liked to be involved but were at home. So we had rehab at maybe 8am.

“So a lot of us slept and watched it early in the morning. Of course I was like, I'm not looking at the highlights, I'm not looking at the scoreline. I'm going to watch the game in full. First thing I do is I look at the scoreline and I refresh my phone about 10 times. I was like, no I don't want the suspense. I was nearly in disbelief.

“I was like, ‘is this really the scoreline?’ Straight away to the highlights and just ecstatic for the girls and for some of my best friends playing so well in that game. But then you're like, I wish that was me. I wish I was there.

“So I think the bittersweet came in as I was watching it all unfold.”

Parsons admitted the unease she experienced with her feelings but said she was grateful to be able to talk them through with her fellow rehabbers.

“I think the morning of the girls beating the Black Ferns, I went into training and I was feeling guilty for having these bittersweet feelings. I was like, I'm the only one that thinks this, don't say that.

"It's awful to even think that you want to be there, even be a bit envious of the girls there.

“But as soon as I said it to the other girls in rehab, they all agreed and it just lightened the weight and the burden of it. So I think there's a lot to be said for sharing your feelings and your thoughts with other people and don't let it build up.

"I was building it up into something that it shouldn't have been. But when you have other people with common experiences, you can lean on each other.

"So I think that's really important, just having a good close-knit friendship group and family that you can share the deepest and darkest thoughts and feelings with.”