Upstarts Sarrries given lesson by wily old campaigner Noves

Saracens were a north London parks team playing in front of the proverbial two men and a dog when Guy Noves began building the Toulouse empire 20 years ago.

All last week the old silver fox heard the talk about how the ‘English All Blacks’ would be coming to give the supposedly creaking old European masters the last rites.

Sarries, transformed into the prototype nouvea riche club of the professional era by Nigel Wray’s enduring largesse, would supposedly pick up where Connacht left off and give the biggest club in the game the heave-ho.

Noves had been running Toulouse for almost as long as Sir Alex ran Old Trafford and he’d be 60 any day soon.

Overpowered and outwitted, the English Premiership leaders did learn something new about Stade Toulousain though — that reports of their demise, like Mark Twain’s, were greatly exaggerated.

All three Irish provinces ought to avoid one another in the quarter-finals, but if Ulster lose at Leicester on Saturday evening there is a real danger all three will be on the road.

So much hangs on the Welford Road decider that Ulster will qualify in their current position as No 1 contenders or slump to No 7. A bonus point would probably take the English Tigers in the opposite direction, from seventh to first.

In that event, Ulster would be back in the east midlands for a quarter-final in April.

Should the other critical pool matches go according to form, Leinster would be likely to end up in Toulon, Munster at Clermont — clutching the shortest of short straws — and Saracens back at Toulouse, assuming they overcome Connacht.

The top eight going into the last round:

1 Ulster (22 pts, 16 tries)

2 Toulon (20 pts, 15 tries)

3 Toulouse (19 pts, 15 tries)

4 Clermont (19 pts, 13 tries)

5 Munster (18 pts, 13 tries)

6 Leinster (17 pts, 11 tries)

7 Leicester (20 pts, 15 tries)

8 Saracens (15 pts, 18 tries)

Still alive: Northampton (13 pts), Connacht (13 pts), Edinburgh (12 pts).

BEST OF THE WEEKEND:

Performance: 1, Toulouse. 2, Scarlets. 3, Munster.

Gymnastics: Danny Care defying gravity for Harlequins against Clermont at The Stoop — a one-handed airborne backward flip while suspended over the touchline for Matt Hopper’s opening try.

Solo try: George North (for Northampton against Ospreys), Kristian Phillips for Scarlets against Racing in Paris.

Comebacks: Leinster (14 points down at Castres), Clermont (10 down at Harlequins), Leicester (eight down at Treviso).

Technology failed again at the weekend to cover all the angles, not that it prevents referees going ‘upstairs’ so often that it’s a wonder there are any still to be found on the pitch when the decision is handed down.

Twenty-three minutes into Ulster’s laborious home win over Montpellier, referee Wayne Barnes asked the TMO, his English colleague Sean Davey, to check whether Robbie Diack was offside when Paddy Jackson hoisted his try-scoring crosskick.

Nobody still knows for certain because the only camera shot that mattered, the wide-angled one across the pitch level with Pienaar, wasn’t available. The same problem reared its head last month when Welsh referee Nigel Owens raised the same query in respect of Peter O’Mahony’s winning Munster try against Scarlets from JJ Hanrahan’s diagonal kick.

Without evidence to the contrary, both tries were given.

The Welsh regions have been wiped off the map of Europe for the third season on the trot just as their national team attempts to complete the first hat-trick of Six Nations’ titles. How come?

It’s all about preparation, say the Welsh Rugby Union, which makes sure Warren Gatland has the players in camp two weeks before the first match, Italy on February 1.

The same WRU insists on a fourth international every autumn which means that after a month of Test rugby, the home-based players rejoin their regions in varying states of disrepair, mentally as well as physically.

And then they go straight into the critical back-to-back middle block of European Cup pool games.

No wonder the regions come up short. No wonder they’re at war with their union.

The Grand Old Men of Europe aren’t getting any younger, what with the grandest one of all, Brian O’Driscoll, turning 35 next week but over the weekend they proved there’s no substitute for experience with the majority finishing on the winning side.

Europe’s oldest 15: Brendan Williams (Treviso) 35; Sitiveni Sivivatu (Clermont) 31, Brian O’Driscoll (Leinster) 35, Seremaia Bai (Castres) 35, Sean Lamont (Glasgow) 33; Dan Parks (Connacht) 35, Neil de Kock (Saracens) 35; Andrew Sheridan (Toulon) 34, Schalk Brits (Saracens) 32, Carl Hayman (Toulon) 34; Michael Swift (Connacht) 36, Leo Cullen (Leinster) 36; Joe Bearman (Ospreys) 34, Joe van Niekerk (Toulon) 33, Nick Easter (Harlequins) 35.

Some French clubs continue to play fast and loose with the Heineken Cup.

Montpellier made 13 changes against Ulster, a calculated decision made to save almost all their front-line players for the more serious business of reaching the Top 14 play-offs.

Castres made eight changes to a winning team against Begles-Bordeaux the previous week. After leading Leinster a merry dance for a while, the French champions then substituted two of their best players, the Kiwi tighthead Karena Wihongi and Fijian centre Seremaia Bai.

Best 15:

15 Maxime Medard (Toulouse)

14 George North (Northampton)

13 Niki Goneva (Leicester)

12 Remi Lamerat (Castres)

11 Hosea Gear (Toulouse)

10 Jimmy Gopperth (Leinster)

9 Ruan Pienaar (Ulster)

1 Andrew Sheridan (Toulon)

2 Emyr Phillips (Scarlets)

3 Carl Hayman (Toulon)

4 Paul O’Connell (Munster)

5 Patricio Albacete (Toulouse)

6 Peter O’Mahony (Munster)

7 Ibrahim Diarra (Castres)

8 Louis Picamoles (Toulouse)