England’s best-laid plans dwarfed

IN my absence a few weeks ago, I noticed Liam Horan handing out the bouquets to Martin Johnson, pictured, for trusting his players at the World Cup and allowing the bit of leeway for tweeting, pinting and conjugal visiting during the tournament.

It’ll make men of them, felt Horan, who, privately, has admitted to never feeling as manly as he has since joining Twitter. And you wanted it to stay fine for Martin, you really did, mainly because Horan has never been known to be wrong. But at the same time, you knew in your heart and soul this would end in tears.

And, maybe, if Johnson got a bad break or two, in dwarves being thrown. And so it came to pass.