AIL away days are still very special

THE alarm went off at six - a peal from the past. For rising at that ungodly hour on a Saturday could only mean one thing ... AIL away day.

It runs like this: Up at six, Kent station for seven, train to Dublin with water and bananas, arrive Heuston 10, bananas and sangers at 11, lineouts at 12, team meeting at half 12 (bananas optional, water obligatory), ground half one, game half two, post-mortem half four to six, train back at seven.

Dolphin’s away match to De Le Salle Palmerstown was a face-off between the top two teams in the second division. However, the waning interest in AIL rugby, Munster’s home match against the Ospreys and the fact that it was the week before Christmas meant only seven alickadoos travelled with the team.

For two of that seven, it was a day of special significance as both myself and Spooks (not his real name) were making our alickadooing debuts.

We had both made the journey countless times before, Spooks had handed out his fair share of bananas as bagman over the years, while I had forced down my fair share of the world’s most boring fruit as a player. Thankfully, the alickadoo experience is banana-free. Rather, it is a day of fine food and gin and tonics and the pre-match meal at DLSP’s ground in Kilternan was a marvellous affair.

Rival alicks bonded by comparing stories of financial woe and, in his post-lunch speech, Dolphin president Maurice Coughlan spoke passionately. “What we need most of all is some consideration from the provinces,” he said. “The contracted players should stay with the provinces and leave the clubs get on with it.”

The applause was long and loud as both had suffered at the hands of teams packed with professionals on weekends when they were not required by provincial sides.

The game was an entertaining affair which saw DLSP triumph 26-22 and move joint top of the table with UL-Bohs. At this level of rugby, referees tend to be very hit-and-miss, and Dolphin overcame some truly horrendous decisions to battle back from a 26-15 deficit and garner a gutsy bonus point deep into injury time.

DLSP had former Leinster out-half Simon Broughton on show and the Kiwi was a lively threat throughout.

They also benefited from the athleticism of James Winstanley and Jason Jones in the lineout. The visitors included ex-Ireland and Saracens star Darragh O’Mahony at full-back but, apart from one searing run and sublime dummy, he did not have much opportunity to display his skills.

Dolphin’s best player was their captain James Coughlan.

The 23-year-old is unfortunate that there are so many talented backrows about at present, for he looks to have the ability and awareness for rugby at a higher level.

Kicking proved crucial to the outcome, for while DLSP winger Conor Hickey banged over four penalties and converted tries by Keith Tate and Jones, Dolphin’s record AIL points scorer John O’Mahony had a rare off-day with the boot.

The visitors did score three tries through Coughlan, centre Colin Healy and industrious flanker Donnacha Murphy - but it was the tries they were not awarded that proved the main talking point afterwards.

Coughlan clearly grounded the ball after a kick and chase in the first-half but the referee, off the pace and out of his depth, was too far back to see it and awarded a scrum to DLSP. In the second-half, Dolphin’s replacement wing Donagh Keeshan was blatantly taken out when chasing the ball for a certain try. The touch judge had a clear view but did nothing.

In truth however, DLSP deserved their victory. They had greater invention and a clearer gameplan and Dolphin were thankful to leave Kilternan with a point.

As for the rookie alickadoos, we had a satisfactory debut. Fitness levels were a bit below par (the pacing up and down and shouting proved surprisingly tiring) but that can be worked on over the season. Also, there seems to be a new alickadoo phraseology in use, with “step-up, step-up” having replaced “we have, we have” as the sideline shout.

We did manage to incur the ire of the PA announcer after trying to put off the DLSP full-back when he was fielding a garryowen.

“With due respect to the practices of Munster rugby, we would ask visiting supporters to refrain from shouting at players under high kicks,” said the announcer pompously. Spooks’ reply, fuelled by pre-match wine and referee-inspired anger, was straight from the Fishwife’s Guide To Good English and cannot be repeated.

Afterwards, we upheld the traditional alickadoo ritual of buying pints for the players, while they kept their part of the bargain by dutifully listening to our rambling stories of games gone by.

The club game in Ireland currently operates in a void - fixtures that once commanded half a page of newspaper coverage now receive a cursory mention in AIL round-ups.

That’s just the way it is and the clubs know the score, however, the AIL remains integral to the game in this country and must be looked after. The away day is still special and is certainly an experience Spooks and I intend to repeat (we are getting fitted out for blazers next week).

And the train journey back?

Bananas.