Damn the begrudgers, O’Driscoll is the greatest

MANY years ago, when we were young and (slightly) more foolish, a group of us used to indulge in a spot of role-playing while throwing a rugby ball around.

Every young fellah has a stock collection of sounds for role-play. If it’s racing cars, you emit a steady drone as you flake about twisting an imaginary steering-wheel, varying the tone for gear changes and throwing in the occasional screech for handbrake skids.

If it’s soldiers, you need an explosion noise, and a “pffft, pffft, pffft” sound for machine gun fire.

And, if it’s sport role-play, you use a Darth Vader-esque exhalation of breath to replicate the sound of an excited crowd and a commentator’s voice, in our case Fred Cogley, to describe the action.

So there we were, Darth Vadering to beat the band as we messed around before training. One fellah would lob the ball up in the air and shout “Eales” as he deflected it to another chap who would yell “Bachop” and dive-pass it out to me. I’d be haring up the middle trying to catch the missile one-handed while shouting “Geoghegan” and heading for an extravagant dive in the corner. Happy days, and the fact we were all in our 20s in UCC mattered not a jot.

We had to rotate roles, because everyone wanted to be Simon Geoghegan, the blond pin-up Irish winger and the most exciting player of his generation. I was reminded of Geoghegan’s ability for universal excitement while watching Leinster’s victory over Bourgoin last Friday night.

A group of us were inside a city centre hostelry which would be well known as Munster rugby pub. Full of Christmas cheer, most of the clientele were keeping only half an eye on the game, mainly to cheer every Bourgoin score and antagonise a small posse of Leinster fans in the corner.

Then Brian O’Driscoll scored the crucial try in the dying minutes and suddenly every eye in the pub was rooted to the screen. It was a thing of jaw-dropping beauty and repeated slow-motion replays did nothing to lessen the wonderment of its execution.

Using a combination of speed, intelligence and gravity-defying balance, O’Driscoll weaved his way past five startled Bourgoin defenders on his way to the line. There has been a lot of talk recently about the New Zealand backline which is packed with youth, menace and indecipherable surnames, and rated the best in the world. Yet, I don’t care if it was Muliaina, Rokocoko, Nonu, Nanu Nanu ... whoever, none of them could have done it. Brian O’Driscoll is the only rugby player on the planet who could have scored that try.

After the excitement had cooled, O’Driscoll was the topic of conversation and it wasn’t long before various observers, in a state of silent awe minutes earlier, were taking casual swipes at the man who had induced it.

His hairstyle, his accent, his model girlfriend, his product endorsements ... they all got a mention.

It may have been borne out of provincial jealousy and a covetous desire for the Leinster man, but the attack was sustained and startling in its intensity. O’Driscoll’s off-field activities seem to have given him a certain “flash git” reputation and cloud his divine talent for many. One man even had the audacity to say that Ireland’s captain was “over-rated.”

We like our heroes humble in Ireland, strong, silent types who keep the head down and go about their business in an uncomplicated manner. It is an unattractive trait, this Irish begrudgery which clicks into gear when our stars get “above themselves” and can lead to a sense of satisfaction when they eventually, and inevitably, have an off-day.

Surely, to rugby followers, Brian O’Driscoll’s non-rugby activities should be an irrelevance. I couldn’t care if he wore his hair in pigtails, married Zsa Zsa Gabor and became the new face of Wonderbra, as long as he keeps doing his stuff so consistently and excellently for Ireland.

In this era of media saturation, accolades abound and hyperbole is as plentiful as Powerade at an Irish post-match interview. However, it is no exaggeration to say that in Brian O’Driscoll we have the greatest three-quarter on the planet and one of the best ever to play the game - and we should be grateful.

Hang the begrudgers Brian, and remember the words of Dolly Parton: “No matter how talented you are or how successful you become, you’ll always have your knockers.”