Luck changes as Nicanor eases home
It’s one of the lesser-known beatitudes.
Thanks to Pat Keane of this parish, your hitherto hapless punter got on Nicanor for the opener yesterday at Cheltenham, the Royal and SunAlliance Novices Hurdle, an apt race for a novice gambler.
As Noel Meade’s horse eased away home, all was right with the world. The sun shone. The wind stilled. And the docket rustled reassuringly in my pocket. Admittedly, having moved my base of operations down to Cashmans of Maylor Street, I was a little happier to begin with.
The bigger premises and cooling pale decor was soothing, particularly the elbow room. Nothing wrong with Ladbrokes, far from it, but I felt my betting nous needed room to expand.
What I was losing in intimacy I was gaining in thinking space. And frankly I wanted no repeat of my writing-the-grocery-list-on-a-docket fiasco of the previous day.
I was also getting overconfident, of course.
Suffering from that overweening pride which cometh before a fall, I decided to pass on the 2.35, the Royal and SunAlliance Chase but cast an idle eye over the runners.
I noted jockey Barry Geraghty’s participation, a name that chimed at the back of my mind, but, feeling that you shouldn’t chase your losses, I felt you shouldn’t chase your victories either.
The funny thing is that notion looks a lot more stupid written down than when you’re thinking it to yourself.
Naturally, having passed on Geraghty and Star de Mohaison, they scooted home. Infuriated, I decided to recreate the experience with a later race and picked the Coral Cup at 4pm as my testing ground.
First, though, the Queen Mother Champion Chase. No time for gut instincts or passing fancies here, so I got scientific, and modern telecommunication was the scientific approach I adopted: texting a pal in Cheltenham, to be precise.
His advice was couched in the odd poetry of betting jargon but the message was clear enough anyway when he returned a text: BACK KAUTO STAR.
That was the actual message, by the way, not the hidden message.
At last, a favourite. Backing K Star to win, I relaxed for about a minute and a half. At the third fence my horse and its rider, Ruby Walsh, took a tumble, and that was the end of that.
Suddenly the world didn’t look as rosy as it had about 2.10pm, and I realised a bold move was needed to try to rescue the day. Remembering the lesson of Ruby and Star de Mohaison, I had a flash of insight.
Surely if Ruby Walsh was the last jockey in my mind as a result of his tumble on Kauto Star, then naturally he was the option for the 4pm, the Coral Cup Handicap.
I laughed quietly to myself and the nice people in the Cashmans shop edged away to give the lunatic a little bit more room. With Ruby on Phar Bleu I couldn’t lose, surely, and my tenner to win was destined to go forth and multiply.
The only trouble was Ruby couldn’t win and came in fourth. I later found out that he’d received what Kauto Star’s trainer described as a “good kicking” when that horse had fallen, and maybe he hadn’t fully recovered from getting stood on by a good half-ton of horseflesh.
But that’s enough about him, what about me and my problems? Equus Maximus in the 5.20 proved a Goatus Minimus, thus depriving me of a second win.
Still, can’t complain. When I went back to Cashmans to collect my winnings on Nicanor, they amounted to a fair sum for my ten-spot.
And I ducked the photographer. The worm turns.
Today’s winnings: €126.25.
