Taxing ride and no last Orders

I’VE never gotten into the whole prostitution thing, it just doesn’t pay enough. But seriously folks, my wife is so fat.....

The second I climbed into the car, I knew it was going to be one of those journeys. You know the ones, the trip with the chatty taxi-man, an animal which seems to exist in every culture and diets on a never-ending porridge pot of one-way conversation.

“Hello, my name is Leon,” he said in accent that was a cross between Murat, Ali G’s Kaxkhstani alter ego, and Manuel from Fawlty Towers. “I am from Russia, where can I take you this fine day matey?”