Phil in horrors after early ‘breakfast ball’

Not quite ignorant enough to think that we invented golf, we Americans have taken disconcerting liberties with the game.

Island greens. Manicured fairways. Thick, hack-out rough. Greens that appear to be burial grounds for elephants. Oh, and the infamous “breakfast ball,” an American golf staple that once left a British friend speechless at the first tee on one of his first trips to the states.

“A what?” he asked, after an American peeled a drive miles right and declared he was entitled to “a breakfast ball,” as if it were etched into the Rules of Golf.