Mud balla price worth paying

When the question was asked of Augusta National chairman Billy Payne, it wasn’t easy to stifle laugher.

Would “lift, clean, and place” be considered should the predicted rain arrive in buckets? Heck, while you’re at it, ask him if officials are changing the colour of the traditional jackets from green to turquoise.

But surprisingly, Payne did not sneer or shake his head. Perhaps, having been beleaguered by a handful of questions regarding the lack of a female member, he surprised by his response.

“We surely would not want to have to do that,” Payne said. “That would be a decision very difficult to make. However, we are also bright enough to know that weather conditions can have an impact on that and possibly cause us to change our minds on that issue.”

Just the fact that Payne hedged his answer was noteworthy, but in the end, his seemingly ambivalent response proved insignificant. Truth is, Masters officials were never going to go with lift, clean, and place — and thank goodness for that, because nothing is more disconcerting than seeing a pro put ball in hand.

“It just doesn’t look right,” Mark Wilson said, and mind you, he had just played 36 holes at Augusta National and been plagued by problems with the dreaded mud ball.

Still, among the glories of the game is this: Nowhere is it written in the Rules of Golf that the game is fair, because like life, it isn’t, and the truly great ones understand that and use it to their advantage.

Curious that the possible implementation of the lift, clean and place concept was broached pre-tournament at this year’s Masters, because it had no chance. To press the green coats is to suggest other Major championships would consider it and nothing could be further from the truth. Never would the US Golf Association consider the move and there’s the likelihood that a Royal & Ancient official would break into a cold sweat should he be presented such a possibility.

Has the PGA Championship ever considered it? “Never,” said an official with the PGA of America.

We can’t be sure, but the official quickly dismissed himself — presumably because such a topic made him sick to his stomach.

As well it should, too, because without trying to sound like one of those purists who dislikes everything about today’s game — from belly-putters to metal-headed drives to the golf ball to no-cut tournaments — there’s something fundamentally wrong with picking up your golf ball and wiping dirt or mud off of it and, thankfully, those who safeguard the Major championships understand that, unlike those who run the PGA Tours in America and Europe.

“It’s just another part of the game,” said Wilson, whose 76-78 effort left him outside the cut but in full possession of reason.

“You’ve got to suck it up. You have to maybe hit a punch shot, even if you don’t like it.”

Asked if he thought it was fair that a player who found the fairway could have to negotiate a mud ball while an opponent whose ball kicked into the rough might be clean, Wilson smiled. He could have said it was the rub of the green and been correct, but he offered: “It evens out over the course of the year.”

Player after player has talked of mud balls and the problems they’ve had with them. But when you ask players if they understand the logistics of mud on the ball, they plead the fifth.

“I just hit and hope,” Sean O’Hair said with a smile.

Stewart Cink subscribes to the school of thought that says the ball will go opposite of where the mud is. For instance, if the mud is on the right side of the ball, it will fly left. Therefore, said Cink: “It just takes a lot of guts to aim away from some of these greens and hit it toward the trouble when you know what’s waiting if the ball doesn’t take the mud effect. It’s an inexact science.”

Ah, but isn’t that true about the essence of the game? As it is about life? Sure, it is, which is why 2010 British Open winner Louis Oosthuizen seemed to speak for the clear-thinking crowd when he said: “We knew beforehand that you are going to have to deal with this. It’s just one of those things. It’s for everyone the same, and you know, it might not be fair sometimes, but it’s one of those things.”