Tiger bouncing to funky rhythm

FUNKY bounces might conjure up an image of some Latino Manhattan nightclubs, but it was, in fact, the language employed by Tiger Woods to describe his opening day 72 at the 104th US Open Championship on Long Island.

Tiger's tee time of 8am has an unsettling effect on the people of New York, snarling up the Montauk Highway, and rendering the highway patrols impotent.

The trick is to lie in, read the New York Post - headline yesterday: "Why I Did It - Because I Could", (copyright Bill Clinton) - and cruise the 16 miles to Southampton without putting your foot on the break. Easy livin'.