Brid Stack's Letter from Sydney: I'd like to be more chilled but time isn't on my side

JOY: Brid Stack (right) celebrates their Sydney derby win over the Swans with Zarlie Goldsworthy of the Giants (centre) and Annalyse Lister.

‘Fearless: The Inside Story of the AFLW’ has been a big hit here in Australia since it was first aired on Disney+ a few weeks back. The six-part docuseries goes behind the scenes of four clubs from last year’s AFLW season. The clubs involved were the Collingwood Magpies, the Western Bulldogs, the Adelaide Crows and my club, the GWS Giants.

When they asked me to take part, I was hesitant at first but once it didn’t impact my training or preparation, what harm?

In episode one, Cárthach and I are heavily featured, due to the unique nature of my story. Having retired from high level competitive sport to start a family and then bringing that young family to the other side of the world to play a professional sport I had never played before. Obviously, breaking my neck in my very first game was TV gold in their eyes.

I remember that interview well. Two hours in a dark room with a highly emotive line of questioning that aimed to evoke a heartfelt response. It was more akin to a counselling session and recalling that time proved more difficult than we had prepared for.

I was mic’d up for my debut against The Suns, and the 7th round game against Adelaide Crows. The TV production crew also came to our apartment a few times, mostly to get footage of our family life in Australia. It was time-consuming at stages but knowing that we would have footage of Cárthach Óg at this exciting time of his life, would be lovely to look back on for us as a family. I didn’t think any more of it until I was asked to travel to Melbourne in mid-August to do a promo for the series.

I haven’t brought myself to watch any of the episodes yet, maybe I will when the season is over. So when I was asked to come on stage for a Q&A session at the premiere, you can imagine there was a fair share of bluffing. 

I was sharing the stage with such inspirational captains who know this game inside out, so I had to remind myself to not sweat the small stuff and just be myself. At one point, I was asked what made me come back to the game with a young family after such a serious injury.

‘Ah sure look, I wouldn’t be one for half-assing it,’ I said. ‘My mother told me to always use my full ass.’ 

They seemed to like that one.

FEARLESS: Brid and Alyce Parker at the premiere of 'Fearless: The Inside Story of the AFLW' in Melbourne

You do really put yourself out there when you’re followed around by a camera crew. I was trying to learn how to play the game, never mind having a film crew putting a microscope on my limitations.

I could understand the reasoning behind the documentary and the AFLW wanting to promote and highlight why the game is developing at such an incredible pace. It is nice that there is a time-stamp to mark this period for the game. A time that showcases the immense financial and physical demands that were placed on players, a time before the landmark CBA agreement and ultimately, a time before the game goes fully professional which is not an unattainable feat for this organisation in the coming years.

During my time with Cork, there were many times we were asked if we would do a documentary. And every time our attitude, especially that of Eamonn Ryan was, ‘No thanks’. We liked how sacred our dressing room was and the secrets it held that helped us achieve success.

It’s been a tough start to the season in so many ways. The games are coming thick and fast and the levels of attrition on the body has been off the charts, not just for me, but for everyone.

There is way more of a physical toll on girls now with two seasons back to back in such a short space of time, with the last season having ended what only feels like yesterday.

With more teams, there are more varied age categories, which means more girls having just come out of underage academies. Some of those younger girls just don’t have the levels of stamina or S&C base built up to withstand the ferocity and sheer physical load that this game requires to survive, never mind prosper.

The more established players are also fitter and stronger too earlier in the season because they are still drawing from that base, especially muscle mass, that they had built up earlier this year. Some of the top teams are clearly operating at a higher level already, which has increased the challenges for the chasing pack.

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THE CONFLUENCE of all those varying elements has meant an increase in injuries across the board and our camp certainly didn’t escape the war-zone. When we played the Western Bulldogs in Round 1, we were missing three players from our pre-season game against the same side that we had beaten a couple of weeks earlier. Two of our girls, Rebecca and Cassidhe were concussed, while our number one draft pick, Zarlie, damaged her shoulder.

We played really well but the Doggies just pipped us at the end. It was even more sickening because we gifted them two goals. When we played Brisbane Lions in Round 2, nobody gave us a chance in Canberra against a top-two side, but we really put it up to them in the first quarter. They began to dominate us at contest halfway through the second quarter and the scores started to flow for them. Like any top team, they were ruthless when chances presented themselves and capitalised on their momentum in the third quarter. We got back on top again in the fourth quarter but the damage had been done.

Losing those two opening games was exacerbated even more by losing three of our top starters. The 48 hours after the Brisbane game dealt us a difficult hand as the results of scans came back to the medical team at the club.

Our key defender, Pep, had ruptured her ACL and MCL, during a fall in the 2nd quarter. One of our key midfielders Tait, has been ruled out for the season as a scan revealed she had a navicular stress fracture in her foot. Then to add more salt to the wound, another one of our main midfielders, Chloe, who had won an Olympic gold medal with Australia Rugby 7s, damaged her hamstring tendon in the last two minutes of the game, meaning her season is effectively over.

The situation got even more chronic with the two girls who suffered concussion in the pre-season game against the Bulldogs, Rebecca and Cassidhe, have now also been ruled out for the rest of the season. Both of them had suffered three concussions within the space of seven months, which necessitates a meeting with a neurologist in this game. With three concussions in 12 months deemed too risky to continue, the neurologist wouldn’t sign them off to play.

Rebecca, is another of our top midfielders, so the starting team has really haemorrhaged quality and experience.

Cora is also on our injury list. Against Brisbane, she broke her nose for what must be the 74th time and decided to play the Round 3 game against the Swans before opting for emergency surgery on Monday so she can continue to play. It doesn’t surprise me. You’d nearly need to shoot Cora to put her down. In fact, you’d probably need to shoot her twice just to make sure.

Then to nearly finish us all off, our young ruck, Fleur, who was dominating pre-season contests suffered a shoulder injury during a training drill that required surgery, so our list has been severely impacted and we’re not even a third of the way through the season.

Fleur’s injury has had a knock-on effect for me too. As we were now without a back-up ruck, I was chosen to go into the ruck at a certain time each quarter to give our main ruck a rest. The ruck is a specialised position, especially in the centre bounce. Rucks are generally your tallest players, most in the women’s game are 6ft tall at a minimum.

They are your launchpad for attack as they tap the ball down to their midfielders in pre-determined set plays. There is more to it than just tapping down to your teammates and hoping for the best.

There are so many different elements to the skill; how you shape your body in a one-on-one contest; your ability to stop your opponent jumping; the ability to protect your ribs and your knees as you jump. There is certainly an art to it. And I wouldn’t say I’m blessed with excessive height or the greatest leap.

I was so excited in that first game because my role was designed to suit my strengths of run and carry. However, it meant I was off the field for longer as I was now in a ruck rotation as well as a backs rotation. That was amended in Round 2 which means I go straight from the ruck contest into my position in the backs. It’s very physically demanding if you get caught in a few ‘ball ups’ contests in a row, especially if you’re an undersized player, giving up the guts of 15 or 20kgs on some of these giants. The Brisbane game was difficult, while I found the Sydney Swans game last weekend quite challenging too.

Still, I was thrilled that we got the victory we deserved after such a difficult few weeks, especially in such a landmark game. As well as it being the first AFLW Sydney derby, it was also the first AFLW game ever played in the SCG.

There was a huge amount at stake, which the Giants hierarchy were keen to hammer home. The Giants-Swans derby in the men’s game has only been in place since 2012 when the Giants entered the competition, and in that first game, the Giants got smashed. As the seasons have gone on the Giants have historically done well in this fixture and a healthy ‘cross town rivalry’ has developed.

So, Cam, our Head Coach got some of the Giants big guns in the form of key back and former club captain Phil Davis and current club captain Stephen Coniglio, to let us know how much this game means to them and how much was at stake for the club. We were primed and really ready and thankfully we delivered a real team performance, dominating the Swans from start to finish.

I was delighted, but I was still disappointed with my own performance. I’m operating in this new role purely for the team. I’ve always been a team player, but I’m just not as impactful as I’d like to be while operating in the ruck.

I sat down with Cam during the week. He said that I looked a bit stressed at training but I just told him that I wanted to make sure I was pushing myself to improve in my new role. Cam reassured me that he couldn’t care if I never won a tap out because that’s not why I’m in there. He wants me to impact the second it hits the deck and get the ball moving forward for us.

It was something I needed to hear. Without focusing on it, the level of expectation I have for myself this season has gone up a notch, especially after getting a full season under my belt. I’m playing well. I’m not making anywhere near the mistakes I made last year but I always want to do better. I still feel I could contribute more. At times in the last two weeks, I got too bogged down in this new role trying to win a battle with seasoned rucks that I was never going to win and expending unnecessary energy.

Brid Stack in action against the Brisbane Lions in Canberra

My train of thought has changed this week after my chat with Cam. I wasn’t signed to be a ruck. I haven’t trained to be a ruck. I’m going to play to my strengths which are hunt the ball and be an option to get the ball forward.

It's funny, I never put this unrealistic pressure on myself in my later years with Cork. That was primarily due to the fact that I had years of games and years of proving my commitment.

While it’s such a bonus to still be playing well into my thirties here in Australia, it’s frustrating that time is not on my side. If I had another few years in this game, I really feel I could relax about it a bit more but I just don’t have that luxury. That time pressure is always there at the back of my head. It’s heightened even more if I feel I haven’t contributed well to the team in a game. I just have to be calmer and more composed. Play to my strengths and stop getting bogged down about the rest.

I guess I’m coming from a completely different background at home where sport is so serious, especially at inter-county level.

Cam reminded me that this younger generation play their best football when they’re happy, enjoying it and feel free to make mistakes.

It was an eye-opener for me because sometimes I used to get frustrated when I’d see some of my team-mates laughing and joking while the team wasn’t going as well as I expected.

I know that some of the girls were looking at me and thinking ‘Bríd is so serious all the time.’ I was even more concerned again when my ultra-serious approach wasn’t being backed up on the field by the level of performance I expect from myself.

We face the Eagles today in Giants Stadium so the challenge now is to try and maintain that form and consistency from last week.

Bring it on.