Bríd Stack: First thing Giants psychologist asked - What's your biggest fear here?

Our first practice game is on December 18 against — yeah, you guessed it — the Adelaide Crows, on the same pitch I broke my neck. You couldn’t write the script

Brid Stack with son Carthach Og

Sunny Sydney hasn’t lived up to its name the last few weeks, but Thursday was a scorcher. I had to travel to Dr Peter Parkes’ surgery in Caringbah, which is about a 50-minute-drive from where we’re living in Sydney Olympic Park. We took out the map, noticed that there was a lovely beach nearby in Cronulla, and had a great day out.

The main reason we were out in that neck of the woods was because I had to get a Tetanus and a Hepatitis B injection at the clinic.

The only time I can recall getting one of those injections in the past was from a reactionary scenario of getting bitten by a dog or stepping on a rusty nail. Over here though, pro-action always supersedes reaction. In a contact sport, where you could clash so easily on the field, nothing is left to chance.

It was just another example of the increased levels of professionalism I’ve been exposed to here with the GWS Giants. Last week, we were all given time-slots to get fitted for a brand new gumshield. It may be spoon-fed stuff, but nothing is left to the players, which further removes any reason for excuses.

The team doctor Peter Parkes is so thorough and also advised me on the option for Cárthach Óg to get the chickenpox vaccine at his clinic. We recently bought Ógie a little doctor's kit, so the deal was that he would give the doctor an injection first with his little wooden syringe, and then the doctor would return the favour. The prospect of a lollipop helped him to take it like a man and the little plaster afterwards enabled him to proudly show off his war wound We’ve settled in straight away, but we’ve also had more time to adjust to Australia by coming out much earlier than we did last year. The flipside to that move though, was the upheaval it caused around missing our own club fixtures at home.

St Val’s missed the cut in the A competition in our last game against Kinsale, but it was much harder for Cárthach to have to walk away from Newcestown, especially when they were going so well in the Senior 'A' Hurling Championship.

When we were in quarantine after landing in late October, the news broke that quarantine in New South Wales was to be lifted on November 1, which was very deflating for Cárthach. If we’d known in advance, we’d have tried to delay our arrival to Sydney. Having to watch Newcestown lose the semi-final to Kanturk after extra-time was tough for Cárthach to take. He has given up so much for me to pursue my dream here in Australia. I felt a lot of guilt over him missing out.

At least we were in a one-bedroom apartment that was poles apart from the confined hotel room we had to quarantine in last year in Perth. We could make our own food and do our own washing, which made it so much easier.

Cárthach Óg had an absolute ball. We were flat out playing hurling and football with him, colouring, reading. It also gave Cárthach and I a chance to get on top of work commitments as well as completing the gym programme I was sent.

We were also lucky that the Giants coach, Alan McConnell made it his business to regularly check in with us and drop off cappuchinos to Cárthach. (I don’t drink coffee). Alan also dropped in a massive box of his grandson’s building blocks to Cárthach Óg around day 5, which was a godsend. Ógie still plays with them every day since. It was a simple gesture, but it meant so much to us.

When we got out of quarantine on October 28, Bri Harvey, the Giants Head of Football, wanted to surprise the girls so Cárthach Óg and I got a taxi to the club before they finished their education section. Their welcome was so lovely. It was probably heightened too by how much Ógie has grown since they last met him. I was also meeting ten new girls for the first time.

The next day, I went for a short skills session with Alan. It was supposed to be short, all handball stuff, but it turned into me joining in with some of the AFL lads who were there doing some pre-season work. After two weeks of quarantine, I came close to coughing up a lung after being fired into some of their long-distance kicking drills.

That was on a Friday and, while the whole AFLW squad was given that weekend off from the heavy workload of the previous couple of weeks, I joined in on a field session with the rehab group on the Saturday. I know how tough and lonely a place rehab can be and my aim is to avoid it at all costs this year.

At our first collective group session on the Monday, I was nervous but excited and was ready to get stuck in from the word go. In the first drill, I fumbled the ball twice, which became a trend throughout the session. I found myself getting more and more frustrated, mostly because I had an expectation of what I was capable of. And I wasn’t matching up to that standard.

Beating myself up over mistakes only increased my frustration because it was almost railing against everything I had promised myself second time around; my main aim was to enjoy the experience, learn as much as I could and play to my strengths.

Looking back on it now, I was putting unrealistic expectations on myself. How could I be nailing this stuff during my first session? While I learned so much from the sideline last year, nothing compares to being in the thick of the action.

When I sat down afterwards and watched training footage with Alan, he highlighted how I was already thinking of the next move before I got the ball in my hands, of how I was still maybe a nervous going down on the ball.

Alan advised me to go and see the club’s sport psychologist. I wouldn’t be into that stuff, but I went along with it. The first thing he asked me was: ‘What’s your biggest fear here?’. It hit me hard. I said it was getting injured again and not playing a second year.

I only met him twice, but he instantly brought me back to reality. I wasn’t going to be of any use to anyone if I was playing with fear or not allowing myself to make mistakes.

In my head, I was nearly playing Round 1 during that first training session. I had to alter my mindset, but the first few weeks have certainly been challenging. Last week, out of nowhere, my Achilles tendon flared up. Initially I was worried that I would miss important training time, but the physios have been excellent. They also advised me to change my boots so I’m now wearing Asics.

I’m just trying to stay positive. The Giants are playing a way more aggressive brand of football this year and during a lot of those first few sessions, I was getting pummeled. But it was the best thing for me to just throw myself into the middle of the action.

I’ve also been doing the world of contact practice with Darren, our backs line coach. I was absolutely broken up after the first two sessions. Hit by a bus job. But I’ve come out of that training block now and I know I’m stronger.

I guess I’m just a bit more accepting of making those mistakes now. Alan has been brilliant. He knows that I’m still not fully aware of all the tactical structures, but he knows that my instinct for the game is good. He keeps telling me to trust that instinct. “That’s why I brought you out here Bríd”.

The squad is also much stronger this year. One of our new players, Chloe Dalton, is an Olympian Rugby 7s gold medalist, while another new recruit, Katie Loynes was previously captain of Carlton. That level of leadership underlines the Giants’ ambition this year, but they also want a big year out of me and I’m willing to give that to them. In my heart, I want to repay everyone in the club for the care and support they gave to me and my family last year.

You can already feel the season coming. Last Sunday, we had our official Jumper presentation where Alan presented me with my jersey. It was a lovely evening, so special that I wanted to nearly pull on that number 15 jersey there and then and get motoring. It was a million miles away from that presentation last year when we were hubbing in Adelaide and Cora Staunton presented me with my jersey while I was in a neck brace. A lot less tears this year, thank God.

Our first round is on anuary 9 but our first official practise game is on December 18 against – yeah, you guessed it – the Adelaide Crows, in Adelaide. On the same pitch I broke my neck last year. You couldn’t write the script.

For now, though, my focus must always come back to the next drill in the next training session. Keep working hard. Keep asking questions. Keep learning. Keep improving. Drive on.