Selfie sticks are gone. Now what else should be banned at Wimbledon

Selfie sticks have joined rattles, camping chairs and thermos flasks on the growing list of items banned from the Wimbledon Championships this summer.

Selfie sticks are gone. Now what else should be banned at Wimbledon

The cull of the extendable stick will come as a crushing blow to those giddy fans hoping to catch the perfect selfie at the world’s most famous tennis tournament. But why stop there?

Here are 10 more things that should be strictly forbidden at Wimbledon:

1. “Come on Tim”

Tim Henman retired in 2007 which means this will be the eighth year of some witty spectator shouting “Come on Tim” during one of Andy Murray’s matches, followed by an inexplicable murmuring of amusement on Centre Court. Offenders should be immediately ejected.

2. Happy queuers

Nobody wants to queue 24 hours for anything so why pretend? It’s a long, miserable experience and, contrary to Wimbledon belief, it’s not made any more memorable by the rain. Anyone fondly recounting queue stories should be sent straight to the back of the line.

3. Toilet breaks

Why do players always need a lengthy toilet break just after their opponent has taken five games in a row to win the previous set? Bring an end to the mind games and wheel in a portable toilet at the back of the court.

4. Cliff Richard

Technology renders some things obsolete. The roof means no rain delays on Centre Court and no rain delays means Sir Cliff should be stripped of any microphone device before entering the ground.

5. Lleyton Hewitt’s Australian supporters crew

Time’s up ’Aussie, Aussie, Aussie’. Out, out, out.

6. Murray Mount

Henman does not deserve shout-outs from the crowd any more but he does deserve to keep his one lasting legacy at SW19. It is fun to alliterate words (Murray Mount, Rusedski Ridge etc.) but let’s be clear: It’s Henman Hill.

7. Picnic rugs on Henman Hill

They take up too much space, especially the sort that come with a triple-fold-out hamper and cocktail set. Fans on the hill should be restricted to one modest rucksack per person. No flags.

8. Mexican waves

They’re not very big, they’re certainly not clever and the Royal Box will never join in.

9. Clapping when the umpire tells someone to turn their mobile phone off

Some unfortunate spectator forgets to put their phone on silent so not only do they have the humiliation of being told by the umpire what they already knew, but the whole crowd then rounds on them with a sanctimonious round of applause. Umpires should start their announcement with “Please don’t clap after I say this...”

10. “That’s too good”

For two weeks every summer this phrase spreads like wildfire out of Wimbledon and into offices and households all round the country. It must be contained. If a player hits a winner, it’s obviously too good, otherwise his opponent would have hit it back.

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