Excitement and dread ahead of derby D-day

A startling headline in a newspaper yesterday announced that a warrant had been issued for the arrest of Steven Pienaar, who scored Everton’s potentially season-shifting equaliser on Sunday. Harsh, but fair, I briefly thought, before realising it was for a speeding offence.

Of course, the arrest warrants should have been issued for United’s defence, and especially for poor Rafael, who repeatedly committed the grievous crime of wandering without intent in a built-up penalty area.

“I can laugh about it now but at the time it was terrible,” once warbled a fellow Stretfordian. I’m still not quite at the laughing stage. None of us are.