A nod to the past but not Fergie’s last stand

GIVEN that the post-flotation United has always tended to be a byword for ‘naff’, especially when it comes to the grubbier activities of the commercial department, Saturday reminded us that we can still do some things with a modicum of class.

Looking back over the big set-piece commemoration-matches the modern United has had to stage — Busby’s death, the Munich 50th and now this — you can’t quibble too much about the tone and handling.

Despite being a bitter old cynic, I was almost touched by Fergie’s sudden head-bow and blushing when he realised the nature of the stunt that David Gill had just pulled with the North Stand tarpaulin.

Of course, some old heads will argue the toss about the renaming of the stand. But as the prosaic, soulless name ‘North Stand’ was always widely despised, it’s hard to whip up too much grumpiness. Besides, Fergie essentially built that stand with the proceeds of his success: indeed, when you look around the place now, you realise how much of its new configuration is down to him.

Fergie was on decent form quotewise, chuckling winningly about all the “fuss” and then quipping about sacking Phelan for supposedly keeping schtum.

I was more impressed by the fact that he’s still bravely sticking to his mantra about looking forward, not back. When asked for his most memorable moment in 25 years, he instantly offered City’s 6-1. Later, someone asked him if he knew how many City managers had been sacked during his 25 years. He didn’t. ‘It was 14,’ came the answer. ‘Wish it had been 15,’ he shot back ruefully. He knows Roberto Mancini threatens to be the Wellington to his Napoleon, as he mounts one last campaign to achieve continental dominance. The trouble is, you wonder how we can possibly avoid an eventual Waterloo.

One method guaranteed to help fail in that endeavour is to be forced to persist in playing Rooney in midfield. Naturally, he’s been very good in there: as with George Best, Rooney is near enough the best player at United in just about every position on the field.

But it’s a sticking plaster solution for a wound that needs a proper operation before the New Year window closes.

Alarmingly, I picked up a report from a recent sportsman’s dinner, during which Bryan Robson supposedly said that whilst Fergie realises the midfield needs strengthening, the United scouts were unable to find a midfielder who could distribute the ball well enough. Yes, yes, I know: you’ve already thought of a dozen candidates across the world who would give the lie to that. Let’s just hope that Robbo isn’t as clued-up as he might wish to be thought of as being, or it’s going to be a grim Christmas stocking haul for us Reds.

Someone else we’d like to see hanging from the mantelpiece come Yuletide is United’s fourth-choice goalkeeper Tomasz Kuszczak, who has complained of his treatment by the club and has used the word ‘slavery’ to describe his predicament. You may recall Ronaldo once made ill-advised use of the term, to widespread derision as the world raced to point out that freely signing a contract for tens of thousands of pounds a week hardly qualifies you for a cameo role in Roots. We’ve come a long way in these 25 years, haven’t we, Boss? How you must yearn, sometimes, for the days when you could hurl a teacup into their ungrateful, mewling faces...