Beautiful game but minds are warped

WHEN God invented the beautiful game he’d had one of his better days. Seen one fjord, seen them all, but football changes forever.

Contrary to popular mythology, the Big Fella is not infallible though. On the day he rested maybe he could instead have put some work in on our personalities.

On Saturday, in the ghastly world of Twitter, the word ‘Merseyside’ was ‘trending’. No, I don’t get it either. Apparently it means oxygen thieves are obsessing about something.