Goddess with a dodgy top and Venus was her name

TENNIS and fashion lovers alike will anxiously monitor today’s medical bulletins from Melbourne to learn if Venus Williams is fit enough to take her place in tomorrow’s third round Australian Open match with Andrea Petkovic.

The intrigue isn’t entirely born of concern for the American’s chances of securing a 22nd Grand Slam title. Instead the question on everyone’s lips court-side is: what will Venus wear next? The championship’s motto is “A Whole New Level” and Williams certainly kept that in mind in her second-round clash with Sandra Zahlavova, topping her round one mini-dress by sporting the kind of garish outfit that Lady Gaga might have kept in her handbag until Mammy Gaga had dropped her off in town.

Words do it little justice.

What once might have served as a functional, if brash, bikini top is affixed to an even more luminous yellow waistcoat, except this one has been slashed open in a two dozen places as if to comply with emergency ventilation legislation.

There’s more. Where the more traditional stylist might have opted for a skirt, there is instead a tie-dye handkerchief, taking the bare look off a grand pair of skin-tone underpants. If this thing approached for clearance on Project Runway, traffic control would shut the airport.

Naturally, Twitter had a good laugh at the outfit’s expense, likening it to “a cheese lattice slice”, “some temporary plastic fencing” and “a garden trellis sewn haphazardly to a rag soaked in an oil slick”.

One observed that there “must be some sort of code violation there”.

Williams — who has a design brand called EleVen — claimed the outfit was inspired by Alice in Wonderland and not Venus’s own need for a better looking glass.

“It’s about a surprise, because when Alice goes down the hole, the rabbit hole, she finds all these things that are so surprising,” said Williams.

Even Eric Cantona is reported to have shaken his head at that one.

The fashion assault rather overshadowed a battling performance from the fourth seed, who suffered a hip muscle injury in losing the first set to Zahlavova.

After an injury break, she returned to court heavily strapped and stormed back to win 6-7 6-0 6-4. Williams has never retired from a Grand Slam singles match and hopes to be fit in time to continue in the competition.

“I’m going to just to try to recover for Friday and try to get ready to play and bring my best tennis no matter what,” Williams said.

As long as she brings her best dress.