Hard not to enjoy misfortune of others

AS WEEKS go, that was close to perfection. I am, of course, writing this prior to last night’s match against Bolton so if we managed to balls it up please substitute all that follows with “flippin’ Ancelotti – I knew he would bottle it . . . team didn’t want it enough, etc, etc.”

Schadenfreude – pleasure derived from the misfortune of others. I have to confess that I have been guilty of same in recent days and can only hope that the football gods don’t decide to punish me for my lack of grace.

But really, can you blame me? I don’t know who to thank first – Lionel Messi perhaps? As an aside, I would like to point out that in the umpteen times we played Barcelona, we never got close to being so systematically out-classed as Arsenal were last week. Nor did Messi get the freedom of the park from Bosingwa and Ashley Cole that he was so generously allocated by Arsène Wenger in his quest for the pure spirit of football.

And then there was ex-Chelsea man Arjen Robben. So for him to score such a sublime goal – and a goal of such importance too at Old Trafford – added to my joy.

I should also offer apologies to Blackburn and Big Sam. Having seen the quite frankly nauseating footage of Allardyce and Alex Ferguson giggling away like a couple of teenage girls at Aintree and again on some golf course, I fully expected Blackburn to roll over and allow Lord Govan’s men to march over them. So fair play to Blackburn.

Similarly, every Tottenham fan I knew thought that the Portsmouth semi was simply a formality; to see them denied a final against us by a rag tag relegated team was chortle-tastic.

As for our semi-final against Villa, I’m not going to make any apology for the penalty that wasn’t given, nor for John Terry’s tackle, as we are long overdue some luck. In fact if we got every decision our way until the end of the 2010-11 season it still wouldn’t balance out the things that have happened to us in the past couple of years.

Villa were previously one of those clubs that didn’t register in my consciousness apart from when we played them. Martin O’Neill, too, was one of those managers who I neither liked nor loathed, but put the two together and suddenly you produce something very irritating indeed.

I never really understood the big deal over O’Neill. It is generally accepted that he is a great manager – in the running to replace Ferguson eventually if you believe “those in the know” yet what has he actually ever achieved? Two league cups – big deal! Scottish titles don’t count for anything when you are managing either Celtic or Rangers. His CV makes him no better than a mid table manager for me.

I was concerned about Chelsea’s performance, especially in that first half. It seemed really hard work but shows that we can dig in when required. In the end it was lucky for Villa that there wasn’t any time left after those last two goals. Had the game gone on another 10 minutes or so there would have been another avalanche.

Suddenly everyone is talking about the Double which has taken me by surprise. I have not mentioned it before because I hadn’t considered it. We are Chelsea after all – Chelsea don’t win the Double! I still don’t believe we will do it. Perhaps it’s the season we have had, perhaps it’s the fact that most of us are still not fully convinced by Ancelotti (humble pie all round if he delivers) or perhaps deep down some of us still have a complex about Chelsea hobnobbing it in the big time. It’s going to be a nail-biting six weeks.

If we are going to do it then every cliché will come into play. We will concentrate on the games one by one, take nothing for granted and play everything like it’s a Cup final (including err, the Cup final!).

And if it all comes together we won’t be sick as a parrot but over the moon.

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