Terrace Talk (Man Utd): Rodwell would be a useful addition

WHAT a sublime-to-the-ridiculous week for travelling Reds.

From the sophisticated shopping delights of Milan, as we stock up on Casual clobber and espresso whilst practising our “ciao bella” pronunciation, to that cesspool they call the Mersey.

Still, it may be in Murkeydive, and it may be filled with horrible phlegm-flecked Scousers, but I do love dear old Goodison. It looks like a prison from the outside but as every annual reprieve arrives, courtesy of the new stadium planners’ fresh incompetence, I cheer heartily. Old Toffee sparring partners tell me the place can still rock as of old, a point apparently proved against Chelsea last week when the “seats rattled with the noise” according to one mate.

As we wearily know, there are fewer and fewer places in England still standing where you can whip up such a fervour, and Stanley Park is already about to lose its other one. (If the Yanks can stretch their RBS credit card that far, that is.) If Portsmouth go down in court next week, that’ll be another one gone too, as you can rest assured the creaking yet vibrant Fratton Park will fall to a redeveloper’s axe no matter what.

One irony could be that we will be doing our bit to help the new-stadium lobby at Everton, should we end up coughing up funds into their Kirkby fund for the purchase of Jack Rodwell. The lad, as you may recall from earlier columns, is a definite priority United target for this summer, a target whose acquisition has become all the more urgent due to the Vidic and Hargreaves situations.

The latter’s continued failure to match the frequent comeback targets set by Fergie has become a club joke, of course, and earned him the nickname ‘Three Weeks’, which in turn takes its cue from Gary ‘Two Weeks’ Neville.

But at least Gary did, eventually, come back: that is more than many fear Owen will manage.

Vidic, meanwhile, is all but on the plane to Spain, as long ago predicted here — although I had to chuckle at news of Man City being prepared to mount a bid for him.

That will be one approach that’ll have the Glazers squealing in frustration, for City will undoubtedly massively outbid Real, and offer wages of a million a day, or whatever it is those clowns now desperately wave under targets’ noses.

But the threateningly Mancophobic Mrs Vidic will out-trump that, clearly.

The upshot will be, as it was with Becks and Ruud, that Madrid will end up with United’s prize asset cutprice. (The OT black arts department has already started its work on the Vidic front, incidentally: the first story alleging he had become “surly, and unpopular with teammates” duly appeared on Sunday, following a pattern previously established in the lead-up to the Ince and van Nistelrooy sales.)

All this factors into the pursuit of Rodwell because the boy is talented enough to be equally effective as a centre-back or as defensive midfielder, a versatility that was common in the 60s and 70s but which you rarely encounter these days, Keano excepted. (So much for modern football’s supposed technical superiority and improved coaching, hey?) Given that the ultimate fate of Hargreaves will continue to be unknown for at least another year, this strikes me as a very useful attribute.

Still, let us not count any chickens before hatching.

Smalling’s purchase, cheaper than Rodwell would be, may yet mean Jack joins the list of O.T. cutback victims. He’ll never want for company there, at least....”

- Richard Kurt