Reality bites after our double capitulation

I’VE never been a big fan of clichés in football. Just the thought of listening to a lazy commentator trot them out during a match ensures I never opt for following Sunderland on the box, even when it costs €60 to watch us get pulverised at Stamford Bridge.

A week is a long time in football and sitting in the relentless rain watching Roy Keane sacrifice the game by playing youth players, I felt a million miles away from the Newcastle win. The derby story unfortunately didn’t have two happy endings. It was nice to see the Barcodes eventually reach the bottom of the league, but I’d have happily given that up for just one decent performance since our win against them.

Last week got off to a poor start when Keane promised there’d be no hangovers on the pitch, unlike those in the stand, come our trip to Stoke on Tuesday. The best hangover cure in the world is to be found sitting in a nice cosy office rubbing it into Newcastle supporters. The worst way to get rid of one, it seems, is to drive for four hours to the Britannia Stadium and sit in sub-zero temperatures for 90 minutes with nothing to cheer about.