Sitting pretty, now for sexy Sunderland
Capping the day off with some female company would be the best way to celebrate. Beer goggles on and with the night drawing to a close, I knew I needed to be careful with my selection, whilst my mates argued the result matters more than anything.
Thankfully SAFC did the same on the pitch by beating our “other” local rivals from down the A19.
It hardly makes up for the horrid loss against Newcastle, but it’s a satisfactory win. But beating Boro instead of The Mags is a little bit like eyeing up the best looking lass in a bar, then having to settle for copping off with her ugly mate.
Things don’t get any less attractive than a scrappy win against Middlesbrough, but the satisfaction that comes with staying up is invigorating. Whilst it’ll be a summer of consolidation, hopefully there’ll be a few players getting divorce papers from their SAFC marriage.
After spending a week cursing Roy’s selection against Newcastle, last weekend he got things spot on.
Paul McShane is a Championship scrapper at best and shouldn’t be let anywhere near the slimmed-down sexy Sunderland that we expect to see after Keano’s summer spending spree. After a few questionable acquisitions, he’s proven we do have a Premiership squad, so you’d hope it will be quality rather than quantity arriving in the summer transfer window.
There’s no better feeling than hitting the town after survival is assured thanks to a late winner against your local rivals, and the city’s Irish bar Paddywhacks seemed a natural post-match haunt. With musicians hailing from Kilkenny, complete with bodhráns and accordions, playing all sorts of songs from The Fields Of Athenry to a bit of The Pogues, a grand night was had by all.
However, it wasn’t until some local fat bloke with just an acoustic guitar got on stage that the place really kicked off. Singing the Roy Keane-inspired version of Hey Jude, as well as Niall Quinn’s Disco Pants, the place reached another level in terms of atmosphere.
It was a sore head the following day, but the league table made for the best hangover cure I’ve had for some time. We can still catch Newcastle, Middlesbrough aren’t safe and Sunderland are no longer featured in any relegation discussions.
Next up is an end of season trip to Bolton, which means fancy dress party time for us fans. But I’d guess that the odds of Roy letting the lads take their foot off the gas are the same as Kate Moss pitching up next to my mate Andy in the away end on Saturday.
Amazingly, some 13,000 season ticket holders applied to go to the clash at the Reebok Stadium, although the stingy Lancashire side only let 2,900 of our supporters travel. It never bores me to talk about the potential our club has when you look at the amount of fans we take to games.
I don’t think it’s something lost on Roy, who I expect to be the big name signing of the summer, with his contract negotiations now set to begin, and shopping lists for top flight signings set to be handed to Quinny and Drumaville. There’s no major facelift required, just a few nips and tucks.
If Sunderland was a girl, she’s gone from a ropey and miserable fat lass when Keano arrived, to someone with a lot of potential now she’s hit the gym big-style, bought a new wardrobe and had a hairdo.
Indeed, all she really needs now is a boob job, a Brazilian and a little bit of Botox to turn us into page three stunners. We’re bringing sexy back to the Premiership.
* Martyn McFadden: www.a-love-supreme.com
