Bummed out by Brummie bores

FOR as long as I can remember our games at St Andrews have been as dull as ditchwater with very few goals — and so it proved again.

But who cares with three points safely tucked in our pockets?

As we returned to the car we were serenaded by the Brummies with “Cockney scum, get out of Brum”. Two points of order here — firstly, we are not cockney and secondly, we don’t need any encouragement to leave such a miserable and depressing place.

Birmingham has all the attributes to follow Liverpool as the next City of Culture.

The big news this week of has been the return of “King Kev” to Newcastle. The Geordies have just made themselves look even more absurd than usual — a feat in itself. Black and white paper crowns, thousands of shirts with Keegan on the back, virtual vigils held outside St James’s with people hoping to catch a glimpse of their messiah. And all this for a man who didn’t actually achieve anything for them, and has a rather “flaky” temperament and history.

It did get me wondering at what the reaction would be should Mourinho ever come back to SW6 — would we see these scenes at Chelsea? The answer is no. I am a big believer in the “you should never go back” school of thought.

With another ludicrously over-the-top fine for Chelsea, perhaps the club should just set up a standing order to the FA and be done with it.

Another £40,000 (€53,700) for “failing to control our players” is just a joke. Barwick should just stop beating about the bush and ask Abramovich to write out a cheque to pay for Wembley once and for all.

Chelsea do no more or less than any other club yet we are constantly fined — the FA have us pegged as their nominated cash-cow and no one at Chelsea these days deems it important enough to make a fuss about it.

I’m expecting a tough game this evening for a place in the first final of the season. In recent years Everton have put on a good early show only to fall away when it really counts.

But there seems to be a belief that this season will be when they take that step up. Tonight would be a good time for Anelka to open his account but to do that he needs to get some service which was sadly lacking against Birmingham. With Shaun Wright Phillips sidelined, Lampard’s recovery delayed and Joe Cole playing only for Joe Cole, I’m not sure where that supply is going to come from — Ballack perhaps.

Then on the back of defending one trophy we are straight up to Wigan to defend another. It’s funny how many people described last season as a failure for Chelsea yet we won two trophies.

It just shows how expectations have changed — but then 18 semi-finals in 14 years will do that.

One of my colleagues often writes about “class” and his perception of Chelsea’s lack of said attribute. Then we listen to Wayne Rooney bleating about how hard done by he is and attempting to belittle Lampard’s extraordinary goal-scoring record.

Rooney is a phenomenal talent but class is not a word I would associate with him — as well as trying to emulate Lampard’s on field accomplishments, he could learn how to conduct himself in front of the press without denigrating his England team mates.

But loyalty does not seem to be something they nurture at Manchester United, as we have seen with Rio Ferdinand’s attempts to talk himself into the England captaincy, rather than back the current one. John Terry’s extra curricular activities may not be exemplary, but they are certainly no worse than Ferdinand’s.

And I think I can safely say that John Terry would never “forget” to take a drugs test.

As a final flourish from my poison pen , it’s good to see that Diarra’s desperation to get to Arsenal has gone so well — not! Now Diarra has rocked up at the footballing power house that is Portsmouth football club — but has already admitted this is merely a stepping stone. To what, exactly?

The irony is that what with our injuries he would have probably played regularly at the Bridge, had he not succumbed to Wenger’s forked tongue.

Oh well, you live and learn eh?

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