Perverse sight of City in front takes some getting used to

MANCHESTER CITY can sometimes make you laugh for reasons other than their legendary ineptitude.

A banner over one of their Wastelands stands on Sunday read “A Prawn-Free Zone”. Maybe, but not prannock*-free. (Nor mullet-free either — the oft-moustachio’d shell-suited gimps.) Then, interviewed for a ‘Football Focus’ TV vox pop, one City fan rather admirably kept straight-faced as he predicted “it might be more of a struggle than you’d expect tomorrow, as we do tend to make hard work of these teams from the lower end of the table.”

And so it came to pass that the filthy Blue beast in our back garden has not only emerged from the compost heap, as I fearfully suggested last week, but has slimed into the house and is currently making improper suggestions to our trophy wife in the bedroom. Yes, City are top of the league — our league, dammit! — and it’s a sight that takes some getting used to. All around the more blighted parts of south-east Manchester and Stockport, the Blue Moonies** heartlands, their mentally subnormal children are puzzled, holding newspaper pages upside down with their three fingers, trying to decode the unfamiliar tabulation.