Just as we expected — a famine after festive feast

EVEN my best friends are getting annoyed now. Two read last week’s column and said in unison: “Are you EVER happy, with anything?”

That’s harsh. I remember smiling once: when an old man coughed his false teeth across the table. And it’s a bit rich when the same friend sends you expletive-ridden texts on Saturday night.

It was the kind of result you expect from Liverpool nowadays; famine after feast. If even cup consolation is beyond us, Rafa has a long, hard road ahead.

He hasn’t had the best of weeks. It isn’t just the transfer window that’s open; a whole avenue of opportunity for press malice began with the takeover.

Whilst Dubai examines our finances (between calls for fresh supplies of smelling salts) the papers are having a field day. One idiot keeps writing “you’ll get nothing” articles, which is doubly galling as he rarely emerges from Chelsea’s backside.

“Beware strangers bearing gifts” — unless they’re Russian, apparently.

We all have misgivings about the deal, but it’s hard to imagine anyone like this needs the comparatively chicken-feed profit from football. Maybe the sheikh’s down to his last few trillions? If anyone doubts the veracity of all they read, the David Villa “details” should crystallise your contempt.

We’ll give Valencia Reina, plus the cash from selling Crouch to Newcastle. You’ll be pleased to hear we won’t be relying on Dudek (especially after Saturday), because we’re getting David James back! There must have been an awfully long lunch before that was written.

We’ve always suspected the Parrydome would be built no matter what the future cost: to our independence (takeover) dignity (naming rights) or hygiene (sharing with 24,426 blues), but there’s a lot of scaremongering going on already.

So the FA Cup is over for another year. Hardly a shock. Last year always felt like Rafa’s retort to criticism he received after the Burnley fiasco in 2005.

We’ve never successfully defended the trophy, and there’s nothing worse than building your hopes up by winning a few rounds then stumbling with the winning post visible.

Semi-finals are the worst, although there’s a small consolation when you come back from one alive.

The idea for the Hillsborough protest on Saturday came after the BBC employed one of the biggest liars from 1989. It would be against the law to boycott them financially.

I’m told the BBC avoided showing the whole Kop but did mention why we were doing it. If I could programme a video properly I could confirm it for myself. What difference it will make I can’t say.

I know people think we have a tendency to wallow in this but I’d be quite happy to never mention it again. When dreadful people continue to profit from our pain we can’t sit back and do nothing. We are the keepers of the flame and should never forget it.

The noise levels remained high for much of the match, yet failed to ignite a similar spark in the team. Maybe we should go back to lumpen silence, since that works better.

The old chestnut “controlling the game” returned with a vengeance, only for Arsenal to score two goals and ruin everything. The cads! Don’t they know they’re supposed to pass the ball back and forth, forth and back, without carving out any opportunities? That’s proper football.

Arsenal are a more gifted side, fact. When they score such goals it’s as a result of their passing play and, more importantly, movement. We scored better goals against Bolton but they came out of nowhere.

Taunts about being babies inspired Arsenal to a tenacious, almost rabid performance. Again too many of our players were off colour.

Who’s the new Heskey? Crouch’s head is the latest ball magnet and there was too much high and hopeful stuff.

Kuyt meanwhile is the latest recipient of the “we don’t care if he scores, look at the hard work he does” claptrap that Houllier and Thompson drove us crazy with.

Once again he was everywhere but where a striker is supposed to be. He popped up in the six-yard box once, and scored. Even at 1-2, there was a marked reluctance on the manager’s part to make any effective change. It was almost as if he feared a replay more than defeat. Arsenal wilted for the first time but were never truly tested.

Fans were screaming for Bellamy, it was the obvious change to make. You began to wonder about transfer rumours and cup-tied players and all sorts of nasty innuendo.

Hey, now I sound like a real journalist! Sure enough, a swap deal for Darren Bent was mentioned in the papers.

It’s going to be a long month.