Come for the football, stay for the smashed avocado

Stadiums are clearly the new silverware. The trouble with sport, see, is its unpredictability. From a business point of view, at least.
There are 20 teams in the Premier League, for instance, and only one can win it. Not great odds if you deal in pounds and pence and common sense. So it only makes fiscal sense to recalibrate what constitutes success and what screams ‘WINNER’ louder than a glitzy new pad replete with a microbrewery?