Making a hames of James? Just call him J-Rod
As you might expect, George Hamilton — who gave us Jan Molbu long before linguistic accuracy was fashionable — is mainly affording James Rodriguez the ‘Ham-ez’ pronunciation of his name, apart from the odd slip. On BBC, Steve Wilson more or less apologised to viewers for following suit. But on ITV, Clive Tyldesley stubbornly refuses to make a hames of James, while Adrian Chiles offered a half-hearted attempt to placate John Foreigner, grudgingly admitting: “I think he calls himself ‘Ham-ez’,” as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.
A fresh complication too, in ITV’s defence. Word emerges that Rodriguez’s father actually called him after James Bond.
Probably not much point worrying about it anyway; now he’s gone A-list, his people are probably already working on the J-Rod rebrand.
Martin Keown keeps Alexis Sanchez’s feet on the ground: “A low sense of gravities.”
Dunphy hails the World Cup quarter-finalists:
“James, a good goalkeeper and nine headless chickens.”
A tight squeeze for Clarke Carlisle:
“Cameroon have got all their players inside the penalty spot.”
BBC Breakfast can’t decide on a surface:
“The FA are trying to encourage football to get back to its grass roots, so later we will have some beach soccer with Greg Dyke.”
Adrian Chiles had a hunch about Netherlands-Mexico: “My sense is that neither side want to go behind.”
Could this be the World Cup to launch a host of spin-off shows for its broadcasting stars?
“That’s Better”
Home improvements with Andy Townsend.
“Tales of the Inexplicable”
Ray Houghton tackles unsolved mysteries. No 1: Why didn’t he just catch it, George?
“I’d Counter That”
Kenny Cunningham refutes common assumptions.
“Modern Life is Rubbish”
Eamon Dunphy explores global decline.
“Relax, Lads”
Richie Sadlier defuses emotional disputes with indifference.
“Who Cares?”
Stephen Alkin addresses the posers nobody has ever considered. No 1: “I wonder if Jurgen Klinsmann thinks in English now?”
“Where in the World”
Remake of the classic quiz. Where on the map are Adrian Eames and friends pretending to be this week?
Best result of the World Cup so far; growing interest in the game Stateside has convinced Warner Brothers to remake Escape to Victory. Michael Caine should still be as mobile as he was in the original. And Irish Ipswich stars such as Daryl Murphy and Stephen Hunt are undoubtedly lining up to have their arms broken in the Kevin O’Callaghan role. Suggested plot tweak this time round: in keeping with the title, maybe the Allies — or even the Germans — should go one better than a 4-4 draw.
Before the World Cup, bold expansionist Sepp Blatter promised it wouldn’t be long before we would see “inter-planetary” tournaments. After the win over Mexico, the Netherlands remain on course to steal a march on potential rivals by becoming the first national team to travel into space. If the team goes on to lift the trophy, Dutch Aerospace company Ruimtevaartbedrijf SXC has promised the whole squad a place on one of its first commercial space flights, which they hope to launch in 2016. “An unearthly performance deserves an unearthly reward,” said founder Michiel Mol.
Live broadcasts of World Cup matches on Brazilian internal flights have been a bonus for journalists and fans making their way round the country.
But there are downsides. An agitated pilot shouted at passengers to sit down after enthusiastic celebrations of the goal against Chile caused a plane to wobble.
We can only presume he’d landed before the shootout.
— Poor old Uruguay. Decent strike by James Rodríguez all right, for the opener, but did it get a slight nick off the English-speaking media?
— We learned referee Bjorn Kuipers has interests in “three supermarkets and a hairdressing salon”. Will anyone ever surpass George Hamilton’s interest in referees’ employment?
— The prospect of O’Neill, Chiles and Dixon presenting on the beach in shorts. Ian Wright in a Panama Hat. This was the dealbreaker for Keano, wasn’t it?
— Does Gilesy play a lot of Russian Roulette?
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