Marcus has it down to tee with the driver

Ted Ray, who won The Open just over a century ago, is one of many who did justice through words to the macabre nature of golf.

He described the nervous golfer on the green pacing back and forth around the line of the shot, feigning a pensive approach but really “putting off the evil moment as long as he possibly can”.

Then there was comedian Jack Benny who spoke for all of those honest enough to take or leave the absurd cruelty of the game: “Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.”