Revealed: Christy’s special song for Team Kidney

I nurse a clandestine habit that has driven me to the coldest and darkest corners of society.

When the house is finally still at night-time, I surreptitiously boot up the computer and, after checking over both shoulders, click into online forums to communicate with like-minded enthusiasts. I visit specialist shops in the worst parts of town where the attendant nods discreetly as I slip into a familiar back room which holds the more unusual publications.

Yes, I can admit it now – I play the ukulele.