MANCHESTER UNITED are planning an audacious bid for Arsenal's captain Patrick Vieira.

IN the normal course of events, an Irish squad stripped of Roy Keane, Stephen Carr, Andy Reid, Clinton Morrison, Andy O’Brien and Matt Holland would have the headlines screaming about a personnel crisis for Brian Kerr.

CLAUDIO RANIERI has likened his job at Chelsea to that of a cordon bleu chef, striving to blend the right ingredients into a sumptuous feast – and he is determined to depose Alex Ferguson as the Gordon Ramsey of English football.

ARSENAL were last night facing up to the unsavoury prospect of life without Patrick Vieira as the French World Cup winner seemed to edge closer to a move to Real Madrid.

MILAN striker Andrei Shevchenko is the new European Footballer of the Year.

MANCHESTER UNITED assistant manager Carlos Queiroz has confirmed the Red Devils have not made an approach for Real Madrid winger Luis Figo.

INFLUENTIAL Manchester United fans’ group Shareholders United have ridiculed suggestions they are ‘scamming’ supporters.

ROBBIE KEANE and Gary Kelly could be the main victims as Terry Venables walked into Leeds United yesterday ready to grasp the nettle in a bid to rake in £15 million.

MANCHESTER UNITED skipper Roy Keane has warned his team-mates they must stop conceding sloppy goals if they are to stand any chance of turning their season around.

Ian Parkes

FAILING to reach the Champions League group stage will cost Celtic a minimum of £10m, according to a report released yesterday.

CRISTIANO Ronaldo admits he will “never take free-kicks like David Beckham” — but believes he can still be as successful as the man he replaced at Manchester United.

ROY KEANE will make a quick return to the Irish team if Mick McCarthy leaves to take the manager’s job at Sunderland.

VILLARREAL’S Diego Forlan and Arsenal’s Thierry Henry will share the Golden Shoe award for being this season’s top goalscorers in Europe.

ARSENE WENGER has revealed the desire to take Arsenal on to even greater success burns as bright as it did when he first arrived at Highbury eight years ago.

IF he had chosen to follow the sour example of the two clubs who have dominated the Premiership since its inception, Harry Redknapp could have highlighted the shocking tackles that put his most expensive player out of the match and might have severely injured another in a titanic struggle with Manchester United at Fratton Park.

JOSE MOURINHO believes his sickness-ravaged side have made a significant statement of intent to the doubters as they continue their relentless march towards the championship.

PROFESSIONAL football can give you everything for a while; fame, respect, riches and a great job are all yours.