Centrist dads must get out of comfort zone to combat manosphere
Former Munster and Irish rugby international Donncha O'Callaghan reflects a grounded masculinity rooted in love and care. File picture: David Creedon
Netflix's series — and some recent high-profile court cases — have inspired numerous conversations about the sub-cultures of young men, and many parents are asking where to, now.
One starting point is looking at the power of role models. We can all be role models. As men, we can demonstrate in our actions how to manage our emotions, share workloads at home, and advocate for others.
But there are others with significant influence. From presidents to podcasters and tech bros to cage fighters, male role models are hotly contested. Parents increasingly ask: who’s influencing our sons?
While the "manosphere" draws headlines, the real antidote is quieter—conversations between dads and sons, coaches and teams, community leaders, uncles and cousins, friends and peers. But these conversations are often stalled by a complacency rooted in narrow ideas of manhood—ideas that quietly persist.
According to research conducted by Core and Women’s Aid in November 2024, too many of us still believe men must always be strong (37% of men and women agreeing or undecided). That men should solve problems without asking for help (22%) and should never say no to sex (24%).
Some (15%) even accept that violence may be necessary to earn respect. These are harmful beliefs to both men, women and children.
While made us consider how we are (or not) understanding our boys, further research in April 2025 also highlighted it was more mums than dads who believed the show highlighted an issue to consider, with 45% of mums believing it was an important topic, compared to 35% of dads. Of those that were aware of the coverage about the show, 40% of mums said they found it sad or fearful - twice as much as dads.
Irish dads (and men, in general) have, in many cases, embraced challenging social issues and voted for social progress. Referenda on same-sex marriage and abortion rights saw strong male support, challenging conservative notions of masculinity.
Unlike other nations where men skew increasingly right, Ireland is less polarised. Still, beneath this progressiveness lies a reluctance to push further—especially among those clinging to “common sense” moderation.
The 'centrist dad' sees himself as progressive. He supports equal pay, dislikes sexism, and encourages his daughter’s ambitions. But when change demands discomfort—challenging toxic behaviour or investing in areas that don’t have an explicit personal benefit—he can often balk.
He champions balance over bold action. Yet this inaction reinforces inequality. By avoiding conflict, he helps preserve structures that quietly harm both men and women. Ireland’s apparent stability masks inertia.
Feminism has long argued that dismantling patriarchy benefits everyone. But too often, men allow other men to define progress as loss. Why are we allowing voices, often minority views online, with no real mandate, to define who we are. We must reframe the conversation: A healthier masculinity offers men stronger relationships, fuller and longer lives.
Centrist dads need to ask: is our moderation a commitment to fairness, or just comfort? Silence is complicity—and inaction a risk to Ireland’s progress. It is time for centrist dads to park complacency, and comfort and get a bit more radical not just with their words, but with their actions.
Fortunately, there is a growing list of men who are setting examples of great male leadership - role models for the next generation.
To reshape our understanding of masculinity, we must spotlight those who model a fuller, healthier version of what it means to be a man today—demonstrated by men who build upon the often narrow definitions of procreator, protector, and provider.
Their actions show that real strength lies in compassion, inclusion, emotional openness, and the courage to confront injustice.
To begin, I look to the recent past and think of Noel Whelan. Noel was a husband, dad, and influential political strategist, known for his crucial role in Ireland's marriage equality campaign. Behind his assertive presence was an immense compassion for a more inclusive world.
Noel used his strategic brilliance not to dominate but to advocate for fairness and inclusion, showing how masculinity can be passionate and principled.
Former Irish rugby star, Donncha O’Callaghan, reflects a grounded masculinity rooted in love and care. Known for his work with UNICEF and media, he has stated that his greatest ambition is to be "a great dad, a deadly husband," showing that presence and nurturing are central to his identity.
Hip hop artist, Loyle Carner, explores fatherhood, race, ADHD, and grief through his music. He redefines masculinity by portraying fatherhood as emotionally available and deeply engaged.
Also in fatherhood, Elliot Rae, founder of Parenting Out Loud and co-host of the podcast, works to change perceptions of working dads. His mission is to improve men’s mental health, and foster conversations on gender equality.
On gender equality, Irish rugby sevens player, Jordan Conroy, has courageously shared his experiences of surviving male violence in the home, while also engaging young men in thoughtful conversations about what it means to be a man today. Recently collaborating with Women’s Aid, he demonstrates how standing as an ally is an act of real strength.
Terence Power and Calvin O'Brien, co-hosts of the podcast, have built a large following by being candid about anxiety, addiction, and growing up in tough environments. Their honesty invites listeners to embrace vulnerability and transform it into empowerment.
Richie Sadlier, sports pundit and former footballer, trained as an adolescent psychotherapist. His openness about mental health and his book offer valuable tools for helping young men understand emotional and relational wellbeing.
Emmet Kirwan, actor and playwright, voices the pressures faced by communities in Ireland. Kirwan consistently speaks truth to power, using his work to challenge systems and structures that fail to support everyone — including many men.
Gary Stevenson, a former trader turned activist, now educates audiences on inequality through accessible economic lessons on YouTube. His work dismantles harmful stereotypes about money, class, and often masculinity.
Sam Fender, a musician who addresses male mental health and class issues in his lyrics, challenges societal narratives that tie masculinity to stoicism and economic power.
Adam Harris, founder of AsIAm, has made great strides for neurodivergent inclusion in Ireland. His leadership style, rooted in empathy and systemic compassion, models a new masculine ideal centered on understanding and equity.
Leon Diop, author of , amplifies the voices and successes of Black Irish people. His work underscores the value of representation and challenges narrow definitions of Irishness.
Michael Darragh Macauley, former GAA star and now CEO of Sanctuary Runners, champions inclusion and immigration. His leadership redefines strength as service to others and commitment to community.
Blindboy, known for his podcast, uses humour to unpack systems, stereotypes and social norms, including masculinity. He champions emotional literacy, creating space for men to engage with curiosity, humour and critical thinking.
- Finian Murphy is a researcher and strategist focused on public sentiment, culture and communities
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