‘Angry, exhausted and increasingly hopeless:’ Women share fears following murder of Ashling Murphy

Irish Examiner readers shared their shock and horror at the tragic loss of Ashling Murphy and highlight how little is being done to end male violence against women in this country

Women across the country gather together to mourn Ashling Murphy, 23, who was killed in Tullamore while out for a run. Picture: Brian Lawless/PA Wire

Yet another woman brutally killed while going about her everyday life, the murder of Ashling Murphy has exposed the fear and frustration felt by many Irish women, who are grieving her loss today.

Irish Examiner readers shared their shock and horror at the tragedy and highlight how little they felt is being done to end male violence against women in this country.

Grieving for Ashling and for all women

Amelia is 23, the same age as Ashling Murphy. She said she was “almost instantly hit with overwhelming grief” when she heard about Ms Murphy's death.

“It was grief for Ashling, her family and her community, but also for me and for women.

“The day Ashling was killed, I had met a friend where we talked about the future, holiday plans for this year, my excitement that my niece is due any day now.

It breaks my heart that Ashling, the same age as me, would have had these same conversations about her plans, her excitements and dreams, and she doesn’t get to live them out now.

“Ever since I just feel like we’ve all been robbed somehow, even though I’ve never met her and probably never would have, the country has been robbed of a beautiful person, and women have once again been robbed of any security we might feel by merely living every day,” she said.

Amelia also said “anything and everything that can be done” to end male violence against women must be done, however, “there also needs to be systemic, individual change with every person in this country, and that can only happen through proper education.” 

Systemic change needed to end male violence against women

A recurrent theme among those contacting the Irish Examiner was the need for a change in attitudes of men in Ireland and educating people about gender inequality from a young age.

Leslie is a 30-year-old woman from Cork, who says she feels “angry, exhausted and increasingly hopeless,” and particularly after reading the reactions of some men online she feels they “really do not understand and are also unwilling to learn to understand that male violence is and has always been a serious issue.” 

On top of this, Leslie says she has never felt safe outside her own home when she is out by herself and says it’s very difficult to continue going for her walks now she feels she can’t go anytime after 4pm - the hour at which Ashling was brutally attacked.

“Male violence against women comes from the sexist and misogynistic attitudes that can be attributed to the traditionally patriarchal society we live in.

“Male violence towards women stems from other behaviours such as cat-calling, objectifying women and slut-shaming.

“Many men have no interest in listening, learning or trying to help because these issues don't affect them.

It is all too easy to ignore a problem when you are not personally affected by it and you are the one in a position of privilege.

“Thankfully, I have seen some posts from men on social media who want to be part of the solution, who do not automatically jump to the default 'not all men'. We really need help from men, we need allies as men will listen to other men.

“If you hear someone display a misogynistic/sexist attitude be it verbally or physically, please do something,” she said.

Ashling Murphy.

The Cork woman also added a ‘zero-tolerance’ policy needed to be adopted in schools against any form of sexism and misogyny.

Limerick woman Janet says she has felt “physically sick” since learning of Ashling’s attack.

“The combination of her age, this happening in broad daylight, and possible randomness of the attack all leave me reeling.

“I have found it hard to move to solutions-based thinking as I have felt total anguish for Ashling and her family over her senseless murder.” 

Like Leslie, Janet emphasised the importance of “early interventions, training and other shared societal mechanisms to identify issues with mental health, that can lead to detrimental behaviours to self or others.” 

Stacey, 33, from Co Kerry, mourns the life Ashling should have lived had it not been so callously taken away from her.

“This poor talented young woman, teacher, daughter, sister, girlfriend with the rest of her life to be lived just up ahead.

“She had just dipped her toes into her career and had a boyfriend of five years. Her father will never walk her down the aisle, nor will her parents ever hold her children.

Her town will never be graced with the sound of her music again.

The mother, who has two sons and two daughters, says she will not rest until the violence of men against women comes to an end.

“We need to stand up and flat out tell men when they are wrong. Men need to tell each other to stop cat-calling and abusing women. The justice system needs to be much, much more strict and solid when it comes to convicting the men who are committing these crimes.”

Throughout all the responses, one thing was very clear - women feel they have a target on their backs, and while there is a call for changes to be made to the justice system, for harsher punishments to be distributed to these perpetrators, educating men about respecting women is the solution most suggest.