'Time to opt out of the charade that is communion and confirmation'

As the dust settles from the Pope’s visit and children head back to school, it's time for more parents to have the courage of their convictions and opt out of the charade that is communion and confirmation. Otherwise, we will never achieve a secular Ireland, suggests Susan O'Shea.

HANDS up if you were one of the thousands who felt deeply uncomfortable during the Pope's visit. Angry that the State was still doffing its cap to the leader of a Church rocked by clerical abuse scandals; that’s anti-women, anti-homosexual, medieval in its teachings.

Hands up if you welcome all the vast change and liberalisation that has happened since 1979, but wish there was greater separation between Church and State. And hands up if your child will be making their communion or confirmation this year, or in the next few years. See where I'm going with this one?

Between the 130,000-plus people who flocked to the Phoenix Park, and the thousands more who celebrated the Papal visit at home, and those who showed their opposition by standing in silence with the Magdalene laundry survivors on Sean McDermott St, is Middle Ireland.

And while Middle Ireland felt sorry for the victims of clerical sex abuse, and anger at their treatment, and muttered under their breath about the cost of visit, it largely went about its business, and will continue to do so. But now is the time for this majority to take a good, hard, honest look at ourselves and decide what kind of country we really want to live in.

Are we happy to allow the Church continue to wield an undue influence on our children's lives through the school system, or do we want to see one where religion is solely a private affair, and completely separate from the State?

A country where the schools are run on a secular basis, and if children or their parents wish to take the sacraments, they do so outside of school hours.

After all, the taxpayer, not the Church, pays for these schools. Are we happy to continue with the hypocrisy that happens every May, when Church, and teachers, and parents collude in a great big lie, when we pretend we are still Catholic Ireland, and march our expensively-clad children up the aisle to take a sacrament we don’t believe in… and then out to the sunshine and the bouncy castle, and a quick thanks that it’s all over until the confirmation?

Defenders of the faith will point to the 2016 Census, when 78% (3.7m people) declared themselves 'Catholic' and claim the majority are happy to have their children undergo religious instruction in school and that communion is an integral part of that.

But the outcome of the abortion referendum, and the same-sex marriage poll before that, the empty confessionals and the near deserted churches, and even the low attendance in Phoenix Park last week, paint a much more accurate picture of how ‘Catholic’ a country we really are.

Aside from funerals, the only time churches in this country are full are those four Saturdays in May, when families pack them to the rafters for all the wrong reasons. I have friends who never darken the door of a Church, but who defend their children making their communion by saying ‘it’s easier to go along with it’, ‘their grandparents would be gutted’, ‘they will feel left out’, ‘it’s a harmless event, just few prayers, a nice day for the family’.

It’s easier to go along with a lot of things, that doesn’t make them right, and do we really want to encourage a ‘follow the herd’ mentality in our kids?

Is it not better to let them decide when they are old enough to really understand ‘original sin’ and ‘transubstantiation’ whether they want in or out?

Their grandparents are not their parents; you are, and they will get over it. Yes, the kids will feel left out - mine certainly did, when they heard talk of parties, and money, Xboxes, even trips away. But they, like the grandparents, got over, it, and we explained we didn’t want them taking part in something that we didn’t believe in, and we weren’t prepared to pretend.

And as for it’s just a few prayers… ask yourself this. Do you really believe that your eight-year-old is capable of ‘sin’ and needs absolution? Admit it, that whole ‘confessing their sins’ to an elderly priest just didn’t sit right with you, did it? Are you happy to accept that when they take communion, that they are consuming the body of Christ, not some symbol? That is transubstantiation after all, a central tenet of Catholic doctrine.

Defenders of the faith will also argue that everyone now has a choice - you can send your child to a non-denominational school such as an Educate Together. But the situation on the ground is much different.

In my hometown of Fermoy, an Educate Together is only opening this September, after a decade-long attempt to get if off the ground. My children had no option, therefore, but attend a ‘faith’ school, where they sit still when prayers are being said, read when religion is being taught, and go to other classrooms when their own classmates are going to the church to prepare for communion and confirmation.

In February 2017 Education Minister Richard Bruton announced plans to divest or ‘reconfigure’ Catholic Church patronage from primary schools but progress has been virtually non-existent, with only about 10 schools divested to date. So outside the main urban centres, there is no choice.

Currently around 94% of the country’s 2,800 primary schools remain under church control. The Catholic Church is still the only show in town when it comes to primary education. Richard Bruton seems intent on making progress, with a target of 150 schools to be ‘reconfigured’ but so did his predecessor Ruairi Quinn, who tried and failed.

The Church is a tough opponent, as the abuse victims and Magdalene laundry survivors will testify. It’s only pressure from parents that will force change in the end.

As a nation we’ve been courageous and shown the Church the red card in recent years by voting yes to divorce, then same-sex marriage, and most recently abortion. We may even re-elect an atheist president on October 26.

So it’s time to show the Church the red card now in terms of its control of education, and a first step in that is saying no to communion.