Kenny on offence as defence minister — what a coincidence

Guns ‘n’ Poses were the order of the day for Enda Kenny on the campaign trail.

The Shatter catastrophe saw the Taoiseach appoint himself minister of defence, and he used the new role to go on the election offence yesterday.

A hastily arranged visit to Athlone Barracks to get a briefing from top brass on the state of the nation’s readiness for war just so happened to tap into the major local issue of the Longford-Westmeath by-election, where a series of defence cuts have left people fearful the economic impetus of a major army presence could wither further under Fine Gael.

After campaigning in Longford with Gabrielle McFadden, she was cut loose to kick her heels in Athlone shopping centre, while Kenny went all responsible (lest he be accused of using the army for a cheap election stunt — the very idea) and popped into the barracks for an inspection of the heavy weaponry, and to drop the heavy political hint that no more cuts are on the way.

A guard of honour inspection was accompanied by the playing of ‘The Taoiseach’s Welcome’, Kenny’s very own theme tune — though as one observer noted: “It’s not as sexy as Batman’s theme tune.”

After that, Kenny was off to do a tour of the various, impressive pieces of military equipment put out on display for him — and the air buzzed with the anticipation: “Oh, will he do a Willie O’Dea?”

This recalled the infamous moment when the over-excited Fianna Fáil defence minister pointed a gun at the cameras, never living the image down.

Kenny proved a lot more politically canny and the closest he got to such a faux pas was when inspecting a large mounted machine gun. He said to a reporter (this one, in fact): “Don’t worry, I won’t stand behind it and point it at you.”

After handling some armaments and chatting to a bomb-disposal team, the Taoiseach was back on the trail as he met back up with McFadden in the shopping centre.

These encounters are never predictable, and the first person he bumped into had a tale of woe about her daughter needing hospital treatment due to her prolonged exposure to cryptosporidium in the local water supply. Ever the pro, Kenny turned the family trauma into a good news story about how lovely, new Irish Water would wash all that nastiness into the past.

After stopping for a selfie with a slightly bewildered schoolboy, Enda darted into the mall with gusto, but lingered too long at the bottom of an escalator with his entourage for one disgruntled elderly woman’s liking, who, blocked by the melee, fumed: “I hope he’s not going to be there all day, I’ll miss my bus.”

Another shopper told him he was from Pakistan, to which Kenny replied: “Amritsar?” The man looked surprised, no doubt aware, unlike the Taoiseach, that Amritsar is in India — just as well Kenny did not make himself foreign minister.

Apart from that, Kenny received a positive reception in Athlone, even managing to high-five a 9-year-old girl while, at the same time, attempting to allay an elderly man’s fears over the withdrawal of medical cards. Not the easiest of tricks to pull off.

At the question session with reporters, Kenny was keenest to talk about the air ambulance he had inspected back at the barracks — perhaps he was thinking that would be the only thing capable of lifting the Labour Party’s campaign out of its critical condition and thus saving the Coalition from post-election convulsions?