Gareth O'Callaghan: A Christmas letter to my 10-year-old self about curiosity, kindness and growing up

A reflective Christmas message across generations, exploring childhood wonder, hard-earned wisdom and the lessons that endure with time

For years I’ve been collecting quotes from well-known people who have changed our world for the better. File photo: Zoe/zefa/Corbis

This is a Christmas message to a 10-year-old boy who bears my name and carries my heart and soul. He is the younger version of who I have become. He doesn’t know it but I am his future — the consequences of all his decisions and actions. 

It's the aftermath of Christmas, 1971. Santa has been kind. He brought you all you asked for in your letter: the Beano annual, the Guinness Book of Records, Enid Blyton’s Three Cheers, Secret Seven, and a selection box. Back then, it felt like a hoard of gifts, for which you were humbled and grateful. 

If I could give you any advice about Christmas in years to come, it would be to always see it through the eyes of the young child you are now. Imagine how the children who will one day be yours will see it, and never forget that. That’s how the magic lasts. 

The future rarely crosses your mind, as it should be at such a young age; but — as you will discover in the years ahead — Santa Claus will always perform a magic that no one dares to try to figure out. Despite the challenges that lie ahead, the one constant in life will be the joyful impact of Santa during those precious younger years.

As I write, I'm sitting at the desk where you wrote that Santa letter. It's in the bedroom you shared with your younger brother, who you always looked out for during those years. When I open the top drawer to my left, I see your initials written in ink — GOC 1971.

I like to write here when I visit. The house is rich with memories of those younger days when life felt so different. Another time and place; except so much feels unchanged, as though the energy of all the living and growing up that happened here is stationary in time, floating and very much alive in the air. Right now it feels like it was only yesterday.

As I grow older and the numbers of the years get steeper I think of you more often as I reflect on how we made it this far. Your timeline into the future right now is no longer than your school terms, or the freedom of your weekends. 

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Your routine doesn’t need a diary. It's called living in the moment. I know your inquiring mind never stops, but that’s your future taking shape. 

So in this time and space beyond where you are, let me offer you, my younger self, some advice. For years I’ve been collecting quotes from well-known people who have changed our world for the better.  

They’re individuals who will impact your life in ways you won’t realise until you find your deeper wisdom — a quality that will help you understand that, in hindsight, making mistakes can be valuable, and why other people’s advice should be taken with a pinch of salt. 

This book of quotes, which I’m constantly adding to, sits in that drawer alongside a tattered notebook you will start to keep in four years’ time during your classes with a teacher called Luke Brady, who will introduce you to the world of English literature and thereby impact you for the rest of your life. 

I wish I’d found these quotes sooner as they make so much sense in this crazy world you will have to navigate. I could have done with them when I was your age. So let them be yours this Christmas, instead of having to wait for decades to find them. 

First, one of the most brilliant minds in history, Albert Einstein — the driving force behind appreciating the wonders of our universe. He said:

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

Wisdom doesn’t come from having all the answers; it comes from searching for them. Curiosity is more important than knowledge. As you are learning, thinking deeply about aspects of life is what will help you to make sense. 

Don’t ever stop. Your life’s learning will only begin in the years after you leave school. Without that spirit of curiosity and discovery, wisdom will never have an impact. Never stop learning. 

As you become more aware of your life, you’ll realise there’s no such thing as instant change, and that takes time. Those who make a decent impact are the people who take responsibility for their actions. 

In the words of scientist Marie Curie: 

You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. 

In your world, Ireland is a much different place. Community is still a priority in your young life. 

The Church’s rigorous hold on our beliefs is gone; but the void has been replaced by a secularism that has turned us into a more selfish, insular society. I’m not sure if humanity will survive because the people in charge are not taking responsibility for their actions. 

Progress is not just about discovery, it’s also about perception. 

Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone, not unlike the one that sits on the hall table downstairs. You have no idea how it will change beyond your wildest imagination. Imagine a phone you can carry in your pocket that can perform almost any task you ask it to. 

In 1971, that’s impossible to grasp, but it will happen. Nowadays people use what are called smartphones to do the deep thinking for them. Preoccupation with phones has made the beauty of how the human brain works redundant. Einstein would be shocked at how a phone has replaced human intelligence. 

Graham Bell’s quote is one of my favourites: 

Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open. 

Rather than dwelling on missed opportunities, focus on new possibilities. Regret is a perfectly natural reaction, but you’ll realise it’s such a waste of valuable time. 

As I write this, it feels likes the years have passed in the blink of an eye. Your schooldays won’t be the happiest days of your life, but happier days will come. Be patient; although patience will never be one of your strong points. 

Your life will face challenges that will be so overwhelming they feel like they might destroy you. They won’t. They will leave you drained, and the mental scars will remind you how strong you are. 

Always remember, in the words of Steve Jobs who will invent a phone in 30 years as magic as Star Trek’s transporter:

Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your inner voice. 

You’ll get the hang of it eventually. 

Your dog died recently. Don’t let it put you off getting another. Dogs want your love, not your money, and they’ll love you tenfold in return. They won’t lie to you, and they’ll always make you feel special. 

Look beyond the days that feel like they’ll never end; and on the days you feel like you belong to something special, look no further.

The thousands of books you will surround yourself with over the years are there to escape into. Always carry one in your bag, and as many as you can when you travel. 

As Mark Twain said: 

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience. This is the ideal life. 

It’s been a good life so far.