Colin Sheridan: Is there anything that deserves a seventeen-minute standing ovation?

Pedro Almodovar, winner of the golden lion for best film for 'The Room Next Door', at the awards ceremony of the 81st edition of the Venice Film Festival. Picture: AP
Doing anything physical without stopping for seventeen consecutive minutes is, let me tell you, very difficult.
You can insert any rude joke you want here; just know I’ve already thought of them. What you couldn't do is come up with seventeen minutes of rude jokes.