I found the gratitude journal most helpful on the days where nothing had gone according to plan, or when I felt hopeless and despondent

Have you heard of gratitude journals? It’s a diary where you write down everything that you’re grateful for in an attempt to focus your attention on the good things in your life, writes Louise O'Neill.

I have one called the Five Minute Journal which promises to be “the simplest, most effective thing you can do every day to be happier”. As soon I wake up, I write down what I’m grateful for and before I fall asleep, I record the ‘amazing’ things that happened to me that day. (Some days are far less amazing than others, I can assure you.)

I bought one for my father for Christmas and when he opened it, he said in a rather bemused tone, “I’m very grateful for everything in my life already. I don’t need a diary to tell me to do that,” and I said “I’m never buying you anything ever again,” and “you’re not acting very GRATEFUL for this gift I spend ages choosing for you, now are you, Father?”

Note: I did not say any of those things. In reality, I said that I found the journal most helpful on the days where nothing had gone according to plan, or when I felt hopeless and despondent. It was on those days that I had to dig deep to try and find something, anything, that had made me happy. It reminded me of when I was first in recovery for my eating disorder and I was desperately trying to reframe the deep-seated hatred I had for my body. I would walk the dunes in Inchydoney as an antidote, and think I was lucky to have legs to walk upon (no matter how much thinner I wanted them to be) and I was lucky to have eyes to see such beauty as the sea broke the sand and swallows dipped low over the horizon.

What I find interesting is that since undertaking this practice, it’s become increasingly clear to me how much I take for granted. Some of these things are very basic but once they were taken away from me, I felt their loss the most keenly.

I’ll give you two examples:

1. I came home from the gym last week. It had been a rigorous session — when I am Queen, all kettlebells will be destroyed — and I was dripping in sweat. I was just in the shower when the electricity went out, cutting the water too. It was pitch black as I tiptoed out of the bathroom, shampoo stinging my eyes, trying to feel my way back into my bedroom. Dinner that night consisted of a yogurt, a grapefruit, and wholegrain crackers, rather than the frittata I had been dreaming off since I had left class.

2. I have a notoriously strong immune system and I rarely, if ever, get sick. I was surprised when I started coughing this week and was even more surprised when I started sneezing so ferociously that I was momentarily blind. I took to my bed, shivering and shaking, and didn’t emerge for three days.

With the first example, I never feel grateful for the fact that the electricity works — I just assume that it will. I don’t give any thought to how much easier it makes my life, from making my tea and porridge for breakfast, to showering after the gym, to charging my phone and my laptop. It was only in its absence that I realised how much I needed it and when it returned, I was almost overjoyed with gratitude.

The same applies to when I was struck down in my prime (or, you know, had a bad head cold) — that blessed morning when I woke up and it felt as if some of the heaviness had lifted and I could breathe properly again, I felt beyond myself with happiness. Yet I never wake up on a normal morning and think — I am grateful I am healthy. I am so grateful my respiratory system works again. How quickly we forget.

But why not? Why do we have to wait for something to go wrong with our bodies, or with our lives, to appreciate how much value they were giving us in the first place? The problem with taking things for granted, even things as fundamental as electricity or the clean drinking water that is so readily available for us, is that soon enough, nothing is good enough. We are tormented with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a yearning for more ‘stuff’, always craving more, more, more. Well, of course I would be grateful if I was rich, we tell ourselves.

I would be grateful if I met the person of my dreams. I would be grateful if everything in my life was perfect.

Our lives will never be perfect, even if we had millions in the bank and a soul mate by our sides. There will always be problems to face and obstacles to overcome. That’s just life. It’s all about perspective. And while there will be many reading this article who are dealing with issues far too grave to be magicked away by a gratitude journal — the death of a loved one, a debilitating disease, the threat of homelessness — there are many more who are not.

People who, for some reason or another, forgot that the silver lining does exist, you simply have to look hard enough. Our needs are pretty simple when it comes down to it: Food, shelter, love. Everything else is just a bonus.

LOUISE SAYS

READ: Kindfulness by Padraig O’Morain. Kindfulness is a mixture of mindfulness and self compassion, and this book aims to teach the reader how we can be a true friend to ourselves. It’s the perfect book to start your 2019 as you mean to go on.

BUY: Warrior Botanicals. This range is created by a fellow west Cork woman, Réidín Beattie, and I’m particularly impressed with the deodorant cream. It’s a blend of essential oils, shea butter, and plant oils, and has recently been snapped up by Urban Outfitters. Check out warriorbotanicals.com