Why Stephen’s Day is underrated

Stephen’s Day, or to give it its proper title Stephenses….es n  Day is an underrated day. (The added es is part of a great Irish tradition of adding ‘extreme possessiveness’ to certain nouns to be sure, to be sure. Another example would be Jameseses Street in Dublin.)

Stephenses Day being a Monday today makes it the King of All Bank Holiday Mondays. You will experience all sorts of disorientation today. You don’t know WHAT day of the week it is. And you won’t know until January 3 rd . Mondays that feel like Sundays, Tuesdays that feel like Saturdays, Wednesdays that feel you’ve woken up and all humanity has disappeared. You’re so thrown out of sync you’d nearly go out to do the milking in your wedding suit. What’s open today?  WHAT’S OPEN TODAY? There are the sales of course, run by and for lunatics who can’t abide the suspension of capitalism in any shape or form because they’d have to talk to their families for longer.

You may not even be reading this article at all because the question ‘Is there a paper today?’ needs an answer to the question What is open today?