DoneDeal 'Stag' story a prime example of overused term 'banter'

If anything ever qualified for use of the overused term banter, it was this, writes Colm O’Regan

BY NOW he’ll know whether it was a good idea or not. But regardless of the outcome, I admire him hugely for giving it a go: The man who joined the stag to Krakow this weekend, having answered an ad on Done Deal.

They were looking for a replacement after the stag himself couldn’t make it. The candidate had to answer to the name of Eamo for the weekend.

You may have read about it online in the ‘Banter’ section of newspaper websites. And if anything ever qualified for use of the overused term banter, it was this — organised fun under highly focused circumstances.

The story fascinates me because as an introvert, I don’t naturally crave the company of others (note, as a comedian, I crave their attention, but that’s a completely different thing, one that’s far more selfish). So I’m always interested in the social situations that people find themselves in.

In some ways it’s not the most outlandish prospect, being on a stag weekend away and not knowing anyone. Stag and hen weekends can turn out that like that. The groom or bride has friends from a number of different stages of their life. A few from school, the gang from college, the work crowd, a smattering of in-laws depending on what kind of “banter erchants” they are. In fact the gathering of the stag is a sort of This Is Your Life. But instead of Eamonn Andrews or Michael Aspell standing there with a red book, it’s a load of lads standing at the “Ryanarea” of departures greeting each new comer with cheers depending on their level of “ledgebag” status. But there will always be one or two who are, while not exactly relics, representatives of the other stages in the stag’s life.

They slip into the group unannounced, a few nods at others standing on the banterborder, easing their way into the situation. If you are a lone wolf on a stag, to mix mammalian metaphors, you have to do it that way. You can’t just barge into the inner circle of craic on a Segway, shouting “TOGA TOGA LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED LOSERS” unless you’ve got bulletproof confidence. Or at least huge insecurities masked efficiently by bulletproof confidence. The introvert has to get the measure of the group. Find the other shy lads. Perhaps throw in a few comments about the match last night. Find out someone supports Liverpool/United, which is hilarious, as they follow United/Liverpool. The rivalry. The slagging. Hoho.

I wonder about the choices the new Eamo must have considered as he made his debut on the stag at the airport. What kind of role does he play? Being the centre of attention but not knowing anyone is a precarious position, like being the manager drafted in from head office. Obviously, he’s already marked out as being up for the craic given he answered the ad, but still seamless acceptance is not a given. Both sides have to put in a bit of work.

There would have been questions for the stag organisers also: Is it appropriate to ask a stranger to dress up in a women’s clothing, carry an inflatable sex toy around Krakow and speak only in barks? Or did they quietly shelve those type of plans?

What if this guy turns out to be such amazing fun that he upsets the power balance, stealing the thunder of the group’s pre-ordained Total Mad Hoor? The one who’s the driving force of all the japes, a whirlwind of energy binding the group together, but whose efforts wear him out and he gets balubas and has to be minded by 10pm. Either way, I hope they had a great time. Great preparation for when he goes to the wedding!