On again, off again: Men in spin over what women wear

It seems to have all gone a bit bantastic on Mediterranean beaches lately, between the banning of burkinis in Cannes and the banning of unofficial reservations via your towel on various Italian beaches, writes Suzanne Harrington

Chuck a towel on the sand to mark your spot for later and it will cost you €200 in Livorno — so far, the local police have confiscated 37 deckchairs, 30 parasols, a cot, some towels, and various items of swimwear.

Use your bikini to reserve your bit of beach and it will be arrested. This is because tourists — filthy, grasping tourists — have been sneaking down to the beach the night before and creating their own little zones amid the prime sunbathing spots via the carefully casual dispersal of beach paraphernalia. Remember towels on sun loungers at dawn around the hotel pool? This is next level.