We need to think more logically when it comes to events in Syria

So the Turks blew that Russian fighter plane out of the sky. Ooooh, said the internet, panting a bit, it’s World War Three. Which sounds rather over-dramatic. It’s probably all quite simple when you look at it logically.

The Russians were in the sky in the first place because Russia is supporting Syria’s leader Assad by dropping bombs on Syria. Turkey doesn’t like Assad, but it doesn’t like Russia either. The Kurds are against Assad, but Turkey doesn’t like the Kurds.

UnIslamic State — Daesh for short, because they don’t like it — is against Syria’s Assad, but Russia is against Daesh.

Russia is also against the rebels — who are not Daesh — who are opposing Syria’s Assad. Some of these rebels are Kurds, who are against Russia. Daesh are against the Kurds, which Turkey likes, because Turkey doesn’t like the Kurds either. Daesh is against the other rebel Syrian groups too.

You with me? Anyway, Turkey is a Nato member. Nato is against Assad, and it is also against Daesh. Nato supports some Syrian rebels, and the Kurds.

Nato and Russia oppose each other, but we don’t talk about that anymore since the Cold War ended. Meanwhile, Iran supports Syria’s Assad, and so does Russia. Nato is against Iran. Russia supports Iran. Keep up.

The Kurds oppose Iran, as do many other Syrian rebels, and the US opposes Assad, Daesh, and various Syrian rebels. Saudi Arabia is against Assad, but Daesh is against Saudi. Saudi and Qatar don’t like each other either.

Assad opposes the Syrian people, as well as Turkey, Daesh, and ever giving up power.

If you haven’t got a migraine by now, you might want to take a closer look at the armed Syrian opposition which has been opposing Assad.

These include the Free Syrian Army, Martyrs of Syria Brigade, Northern Storm Brigade, Free Men of Syria (no mention of the ladies), Farouk Brigade, and the Islamic Front, which comprises of Army of Islam, Falcons of the Levant, Unity Brigade, Right Brigade, Supporters of the Levant, and the Kurdish Islamic Front.

But wait, there’s more. No, really, come back. There’s the Islamic Movement Of Free Men Of The Levant (still no ladies), the Falcons of Syria (who possibly hatched from the other falcons), Grandsons of the Prophet, Authenticity and Growth, Revolution Shields, and the Gathering of the Supporters of Islam. There are loads more, but I’ve run out of space.

Now Britain wants to bomb Syria, although given how Assad, Daesh, Russia, and US-backed rebels are already doing that, it remains unclear how further piles of corpses and rubble are going to fix anything.

You could read Middle East expert Patrick Cockburn’s book, The Rise of Islamic State.

You could read Islamic State: The Digital Caliphate by Palestinian Abdel Bari Atwan. Or you could just get under the duvet with a bag of doughnuts and play Candy Crush until it all blows over — because humanity can’t remain this stupid forever. Can we?

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