I creep into the bathroom. My secret will be safe in there

Late last night, when my husband was out, my son told me a secret. My son wants to tell my husband this secret himself tonight, at 9pm, so until then I must keep it to myself.

Now it is 8am, and my husband is downstairs in the kitchen, making toast and boiling up coffee but I am afraid to go down; so far I have only kept this secret while asleep last night. Or half asleep this morning. Or pretending to be asleep, as I am doing now, with great conviction, for I practised it regularly when the kids were small and it was my husband’s turn for a lie-in.

“You coming down?” my husband shouts up, “or do you want me to bring your tea upstairs?” He’s coming up the stairs; I pretend to be asleep with all my might.