Back to work ... It's like that holiday never happened

Last week’s column explored what happens just before you go away on holiday. Now you’re back. Prepare for misery. It starts with the alarm. During holidays you bounced out of bed before the alarm, in the cool dawn as you went on a life-changing trek through the bush to watch gorillas, or buy fresh bread from the friendly twirly moustachioed boulanger.

During your holiday you pondered why it is that mornings need to be so adversarial because it is the best part of the day. As you walked through the cobbled streets of the pretty medieval town of San Somethingo, you got some excellent thinking done. The cool breeze fluttered up your legs as you swished around in linen trousers. Maybe you are a morning person after all, and you resolve to carry this habit back home with you.

Now the first beep-beep of the alarm causes you to roar: “THIS IS INHUMANE. WHY DOESN’T THE GOVERNMENT PROTECT MY RIGHTS?”