Religions are like penises: it’s acceptable to have them but not to think with them

THIS week, I learned on social media that a religion is like a penis. It’s fine to have one, and fine to be proud of having one, but it’s not fine to get it out in public, especially near children. Nor is it fine to write laws with it, nor to think with it.

I also read what the late journalist Christopher Hitchens said about religion: “The gods that we’ve made are exactly the kind of gods you’d expect to be made by a species that’s about half a chromosome away from being chimpanzee.”

I don’t usually stray into religious territory, because it’s tedious, and because everyone should believe whatever they bloody well want, so long as they don’t go on about it. Believe in an afterlife with magical winged creatures? Great! Good for you. Believe there is nothing beyond this life but the eternal void? Bravo! Now shut up about it. Have no idea whatsoever? Relax. It’s a sign of open-mindedness.