"Did Obama really do it in his first year of office?"

IT’S 11AM, Chicago Union station, and my sister and I are sitting on a stationary train, about to depart for Notre Dame University, where we’re to attend my son’s graduation ceremony.

My sister’s in fact-finding form. Who’s going to give the commencement speech? Did Obama really do it in his first year of office? Imagine if it’s Oprah? And the room we’re sleeping in — is it actually in the basement?

But it’s my son to whom she’s addressing these questions and unfortunately, he has the air of someone who’s had his brain dismantled and put back together very slightly wrong; as if key parts are missing, such as the ability to keep his eyes open and converse.