Dáil bar reform would be a worthwhile first step

TDs are to be banned from drinking and driving through legislation — maybe.

While it would be a start at dragging the Dáil into the 21st century, it is also typical of the watered-down, reactive reform effort from a Coalition which promised us a “political revolution”.

Public disgust at the idea of TDs knocking back cheap, taxpayer-subsidised booze in the Dáil Members’ Bar until 5am when they were supposed to be debating the Protection of Life During Pregnancy Bill has prompted Oireachtas authorities to act.

In the lightning-strike fashion we have become accustomed to, before the Dáil slipped off for its truncated summer holiday — in an amazingly selfless act of solidarity with the rest off us, TDs will only take 62 days off between now and late September — the Ceann Comhairle referred the opening hours issue to a committee which might decide it is better if deputies are stone-cold sober when voting on life-changing legislation, some time at the back end of the year.

Given that the Members’ Bar, which all other people who work in the Oireachtas are strictly banned from ever entering lest we see what actually goes on in there, is less than 12 steps from the chamber, it features so large in the lives of deputies, maybe further action is needed.

Should we breathalyse TDs before letting them take their seats behind the wheel of democracy?

This would not be a problem for most but, obviously, could prove tricky for Justice Minister Alan Shatter, who, despite previously stating his asthma hardly impacted on his life, was forced to admit he could not complete a road side breath test due to the condition during the lurid bout of Dáil mud-slinging that characterised the penalty points row which ate into so much Oireachtas time throughout the spring.

Of course, we have a certain Tom Barry to thank for the Dáil drinking culture leaping up the political agenda, as well as sparking an international debate on sexism in the workplace after pulling fellow Cork TD Áine Collins down onto his lap in the early hours of the morning in an Oireachtas incident she has branded “disgusting”.

Barry admits drinking in the bar before hand, but, of course, stresses it was not to excess.

It would seem the cosy Dáil arrangement of thirsty members having last orders put off until half an hour after the chamber closes would have again slipped under the public radar if what Barry’s chums in the Fine Gael boys’ club initially dismissed as “horseplay” had not been flashed around the world via global news web sites.

It seems Barry’s double negative, may yet produce an unintended positive.

But for ‘horseplay’ read ‘horseshit’ because the Blueshirt boys have been trying to take us for fools yet again over the issue of small business minister John Perry and the not so small business of the €2.47m in debts the Commercial Court has given him six weeks to sort out.

Court documents lodged by Danske Bank also stated the minister needed a loan to clear €100,000 of tax arrears, and had dropped the fact he personally knew Bank of Ireland chief, Richie Boucher, into conversations about his debts. Perry will neither confirm or deny the claims.

As opposition parties demand to know if Perry broke the ministerial code, or used his position to aid him in negotiations, the response from Government has been most odd.

Taoiseach Enda Kenny effectively ran away from this columnist and a huddle of other reporters at an opening last Wednesday rather than take questions on the matter.

Ministers that do speak in Perry’s defence make the bizarre claim that his money troubles make him a more effective small business minister, not one lacking in credibility.

Hmmm, that really is some twisted logic.

In that case maybe we should put Barry in charge of overseeing gender equality issues in the Oireachtas?

Maybe spliff king Ming Flanagan could be the new drugs czar, and befuddled tax cheat TD Mick Wallace could be appointed head of the Revenue as they would all have such unique insight into the relevant positions?

Privately, ministers will tell you that Perry is political toast, so why not treat voters to a bit of reality — and respect — in public? But at least the Perry affair and Dáil drinking has given us some distraction from the truly shocking events in England where, apparently, a woman gave birth to a baby.

It has been an odd week too for President Higgins after Forbes magazine website mistakenly ‘outed’ him as an “acknowledged homosexual” before apologising for the error.

But what exactly is an “acknowledged” homosexual? Is it a prize-winning one? And if so, who hands out the awards?

Strangely, the whole, rather inflated affair was put into some kind of context by none other than manufactured teen horror Miley Cyrus, who, with appalling grammar, mused: “Being a lesbian is a compliment more than what else they call me.”

What happened to the much-vaunted American obsession with “fact checking” at one of that country’s most influential magazines?

Poor old Michael D might as well be Camilla Parker Bowles, and Forbes the trashy American celeb-fest Globe magazine, which despite going to print several days before the royal birth breathlessly informed its readers about what happened in the delivery room.

Its lurid cover proclaims: “As Kate gives birth ... drunken Camilla collapses! Dramatic details inside. ‘Kate and her baby will be more popular than me,’ she sobs.”

Now that’s journalism.

Unfortunately, we cannot report which, if any, drunken TDs sob into their cheap pints in the Members’ Bar as journalists are only allowed as far as the next door bar set aside for the “lower orders” with its harsh lighting and loud, Irish Sea ferry-style wallpaper.

If TDs are to be allowed to continue boozing in their work place until 5am, we should at least be allowed in to witness the spectacle — nursing a mineral, of course.